Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies: Mark

"Hey Dad. There's a very sick patient. Kind of a government cover up and everything - can't go to hospital. Tell you what - you go outside and wait, I'll get in touch with my contacts and have them bring you the patient there."

Subtle, you see. I was getting the hang of it. Before he left, he even cast a health spell over Tom and me - we wouldn't be getting sick anymore. Handy spell that. I guess he wasn't totally useless, but that doesn't make me hate him any less.

With Medical lifted, I purchased Simmunity for both Mark and Thomas, allowing them to eat the rotten food from the basement without my needing to watch and cancel just before they finish it (and incidentally making them immune to colds - otherwise I'd have just gotten Strong Stomach).

You cannot move out the last adult in the house, which entailed a dilemma - I wanted Hassan gone, but couldn't do so non-lethally.

However, with Military lifted, there's no curfew. As soon as the full moon passed, I simply sent him outside to die of hunger. I'd have preferred a community lot, but I haven't lifted Forensics, so he can't be off lot as an elder.

Honestly, anyone that gullible deserves what they get.

Over the next few years, we installed a shower and a dishwasher. Feeling clean is such a luxury, it was absolutely worth killing over.

Despite having a negative relationship, both teens went into mourning over this. But it was entirely tolerable - now that they can shower they get more positive moodlets.

Finally my 18th birthday arrives. After pausing to beat Tom up for skipping school:

"What the hell man? We aren't even allowed to go to school!"

smack!

"I said you're grounded, and you will obey me!"

It's fun to pick on people that don't dare strike back. So much fun that when they offered me a job as a Podium Polisher, I immediately saw the potential. I could rule this place. That certainly was an appealing notion - and absolutely in keeping with our overall plans to stick it to the Great Old One too. Win-win-win.

Mark's final traits are Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil, Mooch, and Shy. Essentially nothing particularly bad or good - at least, with Free Will Off, the way I'm playing. He has the skills Athletic 10, Logic 9, Painting 4, and Writing 10; I give him the LTW of Illustrious Author.

The job he ends up with is in Politics. Not awesome. But it will do; I was going to get him a point of Charisma anyway. It is Week 9, Day 5. Fortunate timing gets graduation out of the way before he has to start work - extremely fortunate, since I was basically figuring "Well, with Thomas only a couple of days away, it will probably delay graduation for Mark, and I can get to friends with the boss before then." I was wrong, but luckily got away with it.

I spent all my spare time at the park, talking to everyone. My goal was simple - fool everyone into loving me, and then stab them all in the back when I take control. Simple, effective, and - unfortunately - actually in everyone's best interests, long term at least. Sure, I intended to flaunt and abuse my power, but I didn't want to get eaten by Nyarlothep any more than anyone else did.

Not bad for just unclogging toilets and fixing computers.

Mark meantime is chatting up everybody.

I don't want to imply nothing bad ever happens to me. Thomas, for example, is now 18, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to justify beating him up. I may have to hold off for a while, or at least figure some way to get an advantage - he's a little bigger than me now.

It wasn't long before I had a two young adult family. Week 10, Day 1, to be precise.

"Right, Tom. Happy birthday. Now, time to get to work. You know all that medical stuff Dad did? Well, your job is to understand it - research, mainly. Get everything working again - we need power, and I don't just mean magic. I mean electricity. I want a new car. Get on it."

"Screw you man." And then my hired thugs beat him unconscious. "OK, OK. What the hell, I'll do it - Mum would have wanted it probably - but you better sleep with one eye open, bro'".

I'm going to have to work out some sort of alarm spell or something.

Thomas is Brave, Couch Potato, Hot-Headed, Insane, and Rebellious. His skills are Athletics 10, Handiness 6, Logic 9, Painting 4, Writing 8. He gets Perfect Mind, Perfect Body as his LTW.

The job is Science. Always a bit tricky - ideally want to do this with better traits - but I don't anticipate any serious problems.

Of course, I get caught with an immediate graduation day, and Mark's boss is dead. Fortunately it's a Monday; a full day of wardialling for both boys (Mark to his only co-worker) gets them both to Friends.

I got promoted rapidly, assisted by lots of friends. So did Tom, actually - little brat knows his botany, for sure, and he's always been handy with mechanical stuff.

Yet another skill challenge for Mark.

On Day 1, Week 11, Mark is a Local Representative and Thomas is a Carnivorous Plant Tender. Neither have missed a promotion yet, though at least Thomas will inevitably start soon.

I became the Vice President. I was close, but I needed more. With a little convincing, and not a little blackmail, I got Tom (a Genetic Resequencer) to make me a clone of the President, but to leave out most of the brain matter. The plan was simple - all I had to do was kill the President, substitute the clone, and let nature take its course - I could feel the power just out of my grasp, but not for long.

Thomas is now into the "fishing" stage, but there won't be any issues in the lift. Mark has missed one promotion - it's tricky to keep up Charisma and keep hunting for a spouse. The spouse hunting is not going well - there are plenty of fairies, but many of them are elders, and a lot are related to the Naturals (you can't marry Nieces or Nephews). I did however find a teenage fairy named Yolanda Fitch-Collins, who will do nicely.

It wasn't enough to just get rid of the president - I had to be the popular choice. I kept doing favours, pulling strings, and pressing palms - the whole town loves me. Even Tom begrudgingly says I might be a necessary evil - and that after he had a "moment of clarity", as he puts it.

Another Charisma challenge achieved. It might take a couple of work days, but I have no doubt about clearing Politics.

Meanwhile, Thomas pulls off the first LTW for the challenge, and shortly thereafter Mark gets another skill challenge.

My biggest fan was a teenager named Yolanda. She comes from good stock, and will make me a fine bride. Tom believes stalking teens is very wrong, but he isn't the one that has to raise a lot of screaming brats, so I'm not overly bothered by his opinion.

The clone screwed up on schedule. Indeed, it went better than I could have hoped - while showing off the "nuclear football" it called down a tactical strike, killing it and all of its underlings - except me, of course, mandated by law not to be in the same area at the same time. A terrified populace unanimously declared me their leader - their saviour.

He's chatting up Yolanda, which is intensely creepy but necessary. In the interim I've grabbed the LTR Fertility Treatment for Mark; I'm trying to get Thomas up enough to buy a Teleportation Pad, but we'll just have to see (I'd rate it "unlikely"; he needs another 25k).

On Week 12, day 2, Mark is a Vice President with Athletics 10, Charisma 8, Cooking 2, Logic 8, Painting 4, Writing 10. Thomas is a Genetic Resequencer with Athletics 10, Cooking 3, Gardening 9, Handiness 7, Logic 10, Painting 4, Writing 8.

My first decree as President was to declare Yolanda to be of age, and then I called her over to our bunker. She hesitantly informed me she already had a partner, but a little persuasion convinced her to trade up.

Politics lifted. And the story is actually true(ish) - on the day he became President, all of his co-workers and boss were gone. What short lives these humans lead. A quick check of Throw Party shows me that Yolanda is now a Young Adult - timing was perfect! Although she already had a partner.

I use the word "had" advisedly.

Yolanda was a petty thug, but she'd managed to steal a functional car. It is of course nowhere near the style in which I usually travel, but it will suffice.

We got started on the next generation immediately. My children will not have the useless father that I had.

Yolanda had three books in her inventory and a car. She is Irresistible, Loves the Heat, Snob, Slob, and Unlucky; her only skill is Handiness 1; she's at level 1 of the Criminal career (and hence cannot return to that after the kids are sorted). Mark has no co-workers or boss, so assuming that situation persists he will be permitted to remain President thanks to his 3 other friends. Should some new Politics people come into existence, so be it, he'll quit. As a side effect, Yolanda joining the household gave Mark the Personable challenge for Charisma.

With kids on the way, Tom knew his days were numbered. But I can probably be persuaded to let him live, and just leave. If he doesn't annoy me.

I didn't get the "rock a bye baby" sound but after 4 consecutive tries I was reasonably sure it had "taken" (remember Mark has Fertility Treatment). Just to be sure, I waited until Yolanda threw up.