Staring into the abyss: Cordelia

You know, Dad was always a little too cartoonish for me. It's not his complete lack of ethics that bothered me - ethics are tools best discarded by the mighty - it's just that beating up Uncle Tom, and assassinating Mum's bosses is just so totally Generation 2.

It's not going to be like that from now on. Now that Cordy's in charge, we're going to see a Natural family that is every bit as ruthless, but way harder to actually pin anything on. I mean, thanks for drawing away your enemies and all that Dad, but the best way to avoid enemies is to make sure they have no idea who screwed them over.

It's like when I took Jack's teddy bear and then arranged for him to find it in Perry's bed. Or when I put on Mordy's boots, got them muddy, and then tramped them up to Mum's bed when I stole her keys. Nobody ever suspected it was me.

New post, new narrator. If you recall it ended last time with Mark buggering off, so now Cordelia - the heir - is the main focus. She's just become a teen, along with her triplets Jack and Peregrine.

With Science lifted, I have started to buy more desk/computer/chair combinations so that I can keep all the soon-to-be-teens busy writing novels while they wait for their fatigue to lift.

All money in the town now flowed through Mum - well, the legitimate money anyway. We still hadn't made any significant inroads into the underworld, and while we had largely defanged them there was still so much we needed to do. The oppressive rules that Dad had been unable (or unwilling - hmm, maybe he was cleverer than I thought) to overturn said that all households had to have an adult, so she couldn't join Dad yet. And while I was not at all averse to having her meet with a nasty accident, I knew she'd made a pact with Death that guaranteed her against such things - not really bright, was Mum, but she did have a certain cunning about her.

Business cleared. A powerful restriction now, as it disarms Criminal as well as opening up Entrepreneurial Mindset for rapid promotions.

Now, normally at this point I'd have a dilemma - get rid of Yolanda or not, considering the teens can't cook yet? Well, I can't move her out - you can't move out the last adult. And I can't kill her, because she's Unlucky. So, that dilemma solves itself. It is Week 16, Day 3, and I have 6 more days until the eldest triplets become young adults. Yolanda (who has 24 days until she's an elder) will hang around until then.

I'm feeding the teens once per day. To make this more controllable, what I do is send them to bed with Sleep and a Nap queued up straight afterwards. This (more or less) ensures that they don't get too hungry, and don't waste too much time.

I was getting sick of being told that 17 and a half was still not old enough to get a job. I have to admire the mob - they have a network of contacts that penetrates virtually all of society. It was time to make that mine; on my 18th birthday, I became a Decoy - I figured I had to start somewhere.

Peregrine decided that corruption of the children was something we should get into - I approve. She started as a Playground Monitor.

Jack's choice was less impressive. He figured nobody really ever enjoyed themselves - and if we could provide "bread and circuses" we'd get away with a lot more. People might even forget we caused the Apocalypse. It was an interesting argument, I'm still not entirely sure I bought it, but whatever - he became "Hunt Sell Out", a Sing-A-Gram Novice.

With us now as adults, Mum was swiftly made homeless. I think she bought the whole, "But Mum, Dad really needs you, and you can't draw attention to yourself" line.

Unfortunately, there was a bit of a mix up. We were all called to a graduation ceremony, where the fact that we hadn't ever attended a single day of high school was brought up. My reasonable point that there was no high school for us to have attended was ignored. While I was barely able to beg my boss to keep me on "even without a high school diploma", Peregrine was informed that lying on her application form made it impossible for her to consider a career in education.

It turned out that the one place that was willing to take her was the local military restaurant - although only washing dishes. There are possibilities there - perhaps we can secure ourselves better rations - so she took the job.

Finally the teens are ready, on Week 17 Day 2. Cordelia is a Bot Fan, Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil, Unlucky; she has Athletics 10, Handiness 1, Logic 9, Painting 4, Writing 5 (tricky to skill efficiently with 7-8 Sims in the house). Her LTW is "The Tinkerer", and my roll for her job is 6. As it turns out, Master Thief is the only one on that list I don't already have, not that I need a lot of convincing to take Master Thief. I will be doing it with the Criminal route, since her mastered Athletics and Evil trait will help there.

Jack is Can't Stand Art, Eccentric, Gatherer, Good, Mooch; he has Athletics 9, Handiness 3, Logic 9, Painting 5, Writing 4. His LTW is "Renaissance Sim", and the job roll is a 1, which means I have to take Entertainment. Let's do it as a Professional Singer, that sounds like fun.

Peregrine is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed, Hates the Outdoors, Hydrophobic, Light Sleeper; she has Athletics 9, Logic 9, Painting 3, Writing 6. her LTW is "Professional Author", and the job roll is a 3. Education. Could try it with the base game method, but honestly the hardest part of that is the marathon challenge, since I don't have treadmills yet. So rabbit hole it is.

Next, I moved Yolanda out.

Unfortunately, as soon as I'd gotten these careers, early on Tuesday morning, a quick check of their next work day made it abundantly clear that Tuesday was going to be Graduation Day. This doesn't affect Jack at all, and Cordelia has effectively 3 days to get her boss to Friend status (as Wednesday and Thursday are her days off anyway), but Peregrine is now in trouble. Fortunately I've cleared Military, which means I can invite her boss over even though they're not friends. Unfortunately, shortly after graduation, her boss disappears from her contacts. So that's over before it started, and I guess I should have gone for the base game method after all.

So as the next day comes around, she quits work and I reroll - a 5 this time. Culinary, of course. There are worse "consolation prizes". Cordelia tried unsuccessfully to get her boss to come over on Tuesday and Wednesday, but a bit of war dialling on Thursday finally got the invite accepted and Good Friends was reached, so she's OK.

Forewarned, we waited before having the younger triplets apply for jobs. Unfortunately, we were all required to attend. I had a good enough relationship with my boss that he grudgingly gave me the time off, and Jack was effectively self employed - but Peregrine had the same problem as before.

A quick call to Dad though helped - he gave us her boss's location, and so we went to visit her. While Peregrine turned on the charm, I kept watch - we were not authorised to be here. I decided to construct several secret naturalist operative winter manikin autonomous notaries while I waited for her to get her boss to agree to our terms.

She was not immediately successful, as her boss had to leave for work. It was not a good day for us in general; while Mordecai's application was accepted, and he took over the playground monitor job that Peregrine had vacated, we were informed there were no immediate openings for either Earl or Jane.

We tried again later, and this time Jane was made a Paper Girl, while Earl became a Snitch - I swear that boy is deliberately trying to provoke me. But we came to an agreement - by sharing tips, he'd make sure I got arrested very infrequently, while I'd give him a bust or two to make it look good.

While this was going on, Peregrine invited her boss over and finally convinced her to let Peregrine stay on as Spice Runner.

The next few years are a blur. Some highlights - the time that I got told to be ready to drive a getaway car, I hung around all night and nobody showed, and when I finally decided to call it a night I got arrested for loitering. I still think that was Dad's little joke. Then there was Jack, who careened all over the city doing sing a grams, but seemed to enjoy it and made a lot of contacts in the process. There was Peregrine, whose meagre cooking skills meant she was never going to be quickly promoted, but who managed to persevere regardless. Mordecai, my bisexual brother, who would flirt with anything that had a heart beat, only to rip that heart out and break it as soon as they showed interest. Earl, whose desperate attempt to become popular was constantly sabotaged by his basic mean spirited nature, and yet who someone managed - with massive effort - to make friends eventually anyway. And Jane, who met more people playing chess than she did as an investigative reporter.

Two things had become pretty clear, though. Firstly, that other than our kind there were comparatively few people in the town. The humans were dying really quickly; the few we did meet were typically senile and frankly too scary for us to talk to. Secondly, that an unsettling number of the fae in town were in some fashion related to us. We resolved to focus our efforts on finding me a mate.

A few days later, the next set are young adults. Earl is Artistic, Clumsy, Excitable, Mean Spirited, Technophobe. He has Athletic 9, Logic 7, Painting 6, Writing 5. For a LTW, I picked Super Popular.

Jane is Artistic, Brave, Hydrophobic, Evil, Over-Emotional; she has Athletic 10, Logic 8, Writing 5. I set her LTW as Chess Legend.

Mordecai is Easily Impressed, Good, Insane, Light Sleeper, Loves the Heat (seriously, how could he possibly know that?) He has Athletic 9, Logic 8, Painting 3, Writing 6. His LTW is Heartbreaker.

Not wanting a repeat, and in no particular hurry with these three, I don't get them jobs yet because I don't want Graduation Day problems.

Of course, I get Graduation Day problems anyway. Poor old Peregrine is still not Friends with her boss, and since cooks work on the weekend, that's a problem. There is one chance - since I've lifted Military, I can go to her boss's house with an escort. I can't go inside, but if I can get her outside... worth a shot. I take Cordelia along as the escort. I managed to interrupt the "be invited inside" and catch the boss just outside her door. Didn't quite get to friends before she left for work, but it was close enough to make the difference inviting her over Sunday morning, when after a few more jokes it was locked in.

Rolls for the other three are made as soon as they graduate. Earl rolls 1, which means he's going to have to reroll tomorrow. Jane is in the same predicament as Earl, also rolling 1. Mordecai rolls 3, so he takes Education. Looking at the table, a roll of either 1 or 6 is a miss now, so I decide to try the computer tomorrow instead. On that occasion, Jane scores Journalist, while Earl gets Law Enforcement. I'll take Forensics; that way, if the only spouse I can find for Cordelia is already an adult, we're not necessarily in any trouble.

Incidentally, Cordelia died while working on a dishwasher, but Unlucky does have its plus side as well as the minus side.

I got to level 7 in Culinary before I realised that I could buy the cheapest television now. It required Cordelia to upgrade it, but Cooking Cable is the key - should make things a bit easier, anyway.

It is proving very difficult to satisfy the Reports and Stories metrics for Law Enforcement and Journalist. The problem is that the vast majority of the town are either related to us (can't do a story on a relative, though you can do a report I think) or else elders (and hence non-interactive because I'm doing a prestige occult). It is similarly tricky to build Charisma. I am not complaining, and it is trickling along - I don't think I'll be attempting to do Super Popular with a Mean Spirited Sim any time again soon - poor old Earl has resorted to trying to make friends with pets.

Earl successfully managed to become the go-to guy for forensics reports, and managed to work out from the DNA he had what the common factor was in premature senility. With the help of Uncle Thomas and Granddad's notes he was able to synthesize a cure - at least for us, and I'll consider whether or not it will be profitable enough for general distribution.

Mordecai, on the other hand, has successfully poisoned an entire generation of minds with subliminal textbook messages. His study of charm magic doubtless helped, and it will certainly mean my own children will benefit. So impressed by his work was the government that they have finally decided to construct a high school.

Forensics and Education lifted. That's the good news. The bad news is that Mordecai (despite being gender blind) has still only managed 4/10 for Heartbreaker, and Earl is at a shameful 4/20 for Super Popular. I don't really regret buying them Entrepreneurial Mindset, as it certainly helped them lift, but if I hadn't they'd both have enough LTR points now for Midlife Crisis which would allow me to tailor traits - and Earl badly needs that. Never mind, I'll certainly take the lifts, and now they can concentrate on their LTWs.

While I am now in charge of much of the underworld, annoyingly there appears to be an essentially separate division I have only minimal influence over. I have used the organisation as a front to set up several trade unions; under the guise of establishing superior working conditions we will now find and destroy our enemies, and through sheer corruption force ourselves into whatever careers we desire.

Master Thief lifted. The order here is interesting. Jack had zoomed along to level 5 while Cordelia and Peregrine were still struggling to get to 3, but Jack - unable to do anything but stand on his home lot and Perform for Tips, Deliver Sing-A-Grams, and have a single performance park gig (now regular, but still - only one gig per week) - really slowed down. It is Week 20, Day 4, and Jack is a Superstar, with about 80% of the bar still to fill. Of course 2 of the younger triplets have already lapped the older ones.

We managed, by combining our various networks of informers, to find a fairy named Kasey. He had a partner, but a few planted doctored photographs thanks to Earl took care of that relationship. Just for fun I told him what we'd done once we got married; he was understandably pretty upset, but that was Mordecai's cue to use his particular mind control charms. After a few of those, Kasey was enthusiastically on board to take over the remaining spy network that we didn't yet control.

Kasey came with 3 more books, plus a bunch of other stuff (including a car) that I sold. He is Good, Heavy Sleeper, Longer, Slob, Unflirty. The only significant one there is Slob, which is good. He is in Law Enforcement at Desk Jockey level - good enough, actually, since I need Espionage lifted. His only skill is Logic 1, but he has 19 days until he is an adult. Now just to get rid of the others, but I need to do some LTW lifting first.

The Unseelie Court: Mark

I quit my job when the pigs said I couldn't have any time off for getting married. It doesn't matter - I have already set up enough puppets that I can rule with or without the official title.

Without the ability to strike at me directly, Thomas became the target of my enemies. Some of them wanted him to volunteer for an experimental plant substance - as if such things could possibly work on us anyway. He wisely declined - better to be safe than sorry, and my desire to see Thomas die in cruel and unusual ways was tempered by my desire for him to make a few more technological breakthroughs first.

When I left off last time, the heir had just gotten married and set the next generation in motion. His brother Thomas is a Top Secret Researcher, so Science is getting close.

Mark has no boss or coworkers; he had only 1 good friend, and I decided not to get any more, allowing him to quit. (You aren't intentionally allowed to be late for work or anything, but you can be less than diligent about repairing relationships - it's all in the margins). I want to finish getting his Painting to 10 to secure the LTW (Illustrious Author). Yolanda's LTW is Bottomless Nectar Cellar, which is impossible to lift at the moment, so I don't want to waste Mark's as well.

I became the father to triplets - Jack, Cordelia, and Peregrine. Jack looks like a complete loser - Cordelia, now she has potential. I cannot in good conscious choose Jack as my heir, even if he was born a few minutes earlier. Cordelia it is.

Instant family. Jack is Eccentric, Good; Cordelia is Easily Impressed, Evil; and Peregrine is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed. 3 kids is good; 4 would be better. They immediately Try For Baby again.

After gifting us with a few products of his new mad science, Thomas decided to leave. I'll miss being able to kick him in the head, but I guess we need the room. I did pull a few strings to get his intended housing re-assigned though - he can start out homeless. Just so he remembers who is in charge.

Science lifted. A good complement to Medical and Military; this is going fairly well. I don't have enough for a teleportation bad, but Thomas might as well spot me a Collection Helper before he goes. On the same day, I had four birthdays: the triplets, and Mark.

The fertility magic that Dad had revealed to us was clearly working, since I now had a new set of triplets - Earl, Jane, and Mordecai - to look after. It's just as well the first set are toddlers - I'm not sure I'd ever get any sleep at all otherwise, the little mongrels. I have a strange feeling towards my children. Not hate, or urge to kill - something else. Not sure what to call it. Kind of the opposite of those things. Mustn't let it get me soft ... oh, that's so cute!

There was a disadvantage to Thomas leaving; we are left with a cash flow problem. Fortunately, I am well able to look after the kids, so Yolanda put her name forward. I tried to pull some strings, but the best I could do for her was a coffee courier. It's a start, and I can continue to pull some strings to get her something a little more prestigious. Indeed, one of our main continuing problems are the state factories- while theoretically something I now control, in practice they are run by independent businessmen who think they can buy and sell politicians, even me. So we'll have to beat them at their own game - though I'm certainly going to kill as many as possible, I suspect they will take appropriate precautions.

And another set of triplets. Earl is Artistic, Clumsy; Jane is Artistic, Brave; Mordecai is Easily Impressed, Good. That's right everyone, it's time to play 8 Sims At Once! I would have settled for a single there, but apparently triplets it is.

That frees up Yolanda, so she grabs a job: Business. Not bad, works well with Politics, really need Athletics to complete the set. But Business will certainly do.

Poor old Mark has been run a bit ragged, but now he'll get a bit more of a break. Cordelia is now Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil (very much her father's daughter); Jack is Can't Stand Art, Eccentric, Good; Peregrine is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed, Hydrophobic. Middling to bad traits, but that's the Apocalypse Challenge for you.

The other set are now all toddlers, so lower maintenance. Of course, there are now bigger food pressures; I have a fair bit stashed, but no more two meals a day for anyone (except Yolanda, who can lick as many plates as she likes).

The kids grew up fast, and before I really knew it I was occasionally getting a full night's sleep, because the eldest kids were in school. The downside is that I was hungry a lot more; as much as it's important to keep my strength up, I have to keep the little buggers fed otherwise they're of no use to me.

It seemed like only a couple of days after that the younger triplets were starting school as well. Meanwhile, Yolanda was having trouble at work. She was managing to impress and get promotions - not exactly swiftly, but quickly enough - but she complained about lack of co-workers and bosses. I checked into it; apparently my assassins were being a little overzealous.

The kids are looking a little plump there. Apparently I overfed them; that's not something that is likely to continue.

I've gotten Yolanda to Corporate Drone, but she's yet to go to work and have the same boss on successive days. Of course this is partly because of short lifespans for the humans, but it cannot be entirely explained in such a fashion - and Business, especially, is tricky to clear if you can't keep the same work colleagues. But she has plenty of time.

With 6 children, I now start to see a lot of "Hungry". I am ruthless here; once they become teens they can't get food at school, so the child period is one where I stash extra food.

With my illustrated propaganda leaflets now seriously undermining the mob and police alike - we don't like entities we don't control - we received an anonymous gift. Well, it arrived anonymously, but I recognised Thomas' magitek when I saw it. It was a device that could control the weather. I could call snow for the weekends, and sunshine during the week so that the kids would not have to stay home. Useful - but limited. It couldn't bring back spring, only give us a bit of control over the days of winter. But a start, no doubt.

That's the second LTW for the collection. I use it to get a Climatron Control Unit - in large part because I've never done that before, and I figured why not? It has the power to banish Snow Days, in effect.

It is now Week 15, Day 2, and the first set of triplets are now teens. Cordelia is Bot Fan, Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil, with Athletics 3, Logic 7, Painting 3, Writing 4. Jack is Can't Stand Art, Eccentric, Gatherer, Good, with Athletics 3, Logic 8, Painting 3, Writing 3. Peregrine still hasn't lost her baby fat in the face there (looks a bit like her mother); she is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed, Hydrophobic, Light Sleeper, with Athletics 3, Logic 7, Painting 3, Writing 3.

With Yolanda now the division manager, I have extra work on my hands to keep 3 precocious teenagers fed and focussed without a working high school to educate them. I think a course of extreme callisthenics will do for a start. But my task is coming to a close; they need much less supervision than before, and I can begin to focus on behind the scenes manipulation to assist Yolanda and pave the way for the kids. In order to draw my enemies away, I'm going to fake my own death, leaving with nothing but the clothes on my back. The kids know the truth, but Yolanda might need to be lied too.

Well, maybe she won't need to be lied to, but I'm going to lie to her anyway. Best to keep in practice.

With the first set now teens there is no real need for Mark anymore, so he gets kicked out of the house. Next time, we'll start the massive aerobics sessions while the younger kids play hopscotch and dominoes.

Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies: Mark

"Hey Dad. There's a very sick patient. Kind of a government cover up and everything - can't go to hospital. Tell you what - you go outside and wait, I'll get in touch with my contacts and have them bring you the patient there."

Subtle, you see. I was getting the hang of it. Before he left, he even cast a health spell over Tom and me - we wouldn't be getting sick anymore. Handy spell that. I guess he wasn't totally useless, but that doesn't make me hate him any less.

With Medical lifted, I purchased Simmunity for both Mark and Thomas, allowing them to eat the rotten food from the basement without my needing to watch and cancel just before they finish it (and incidentally making them immune to colds - otherwise I'd have just gotten Strong Stomach).

You cannot move out the last adult in the house, which entailed a dilemma - I wanted Hassan gone, but couldn't do so non-lethally.

However, with Military lifted, there's no curfew. As soon as the full moon passed, I simply sent him outside to die of hunger. I'd have preferred a community lot, but I haven't lifted Forensics, so he can't be off lot as an elder.

Honestly, anyone that gullible deserves what they get.

Over the next few years, we installed a shower and a dishwasher. Feeling clean is such a luxury, it was absolutely worth killing over.

Despite having a negative relationship, both teens went into mourning over this. But it was entirely tolerable - now that they can shower they get more positive moodlets.

Finally my 18th birthday arrives. After pausing to beat Tom up for skipping school:

"What the hell man? We aren't even allowed to go to school!"

smack!

"I said you're grounded, and you will obey me!"

It's fun to pick on people that don't dare strike back. So much fun that when they offered me a job as a Podium Polisher, I immediately saw the potential. I could rule this place. That certainly was an appealing notion - and absolutely in keeping with our overall plans to stick it to the Great Old One too. Win-win-win.

Mark's final traits are Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil, Mooch, and Shy. Essentially nothing particularly bad or good - at least, with Free Will Off, the way I'm playing. He has the skills Athletic 10, Logic 9, Painting 4, and Writing 10; I give him the LTW of Illustrious Author.

The job he ends up with is in Politics. Not awesome. But it will do; I was going to get him a point of Charisma anyway. It is Week 9, Day 5. Fortunate timing gets graduation out of the way before he has to start work - extremely fortunate, since I was basically figuring "Well, with Thomas only a couple of days away, it will probably delay graduation for Mark, and I can get to friends with the boss before then." I was wrong, but luckily got away with it.

I spent all my spare time at the park, talking to everyone. My goal was simple - fool everyone into loving me, and then stab them all in the back when I take control. Simple, effective, and - unfortunately - actually in everyone's best interests, long term at least. Sure, I intended to flaunt and abuse my power, but I didn't want to get eaten by Nyarlothep any more than anyone else did.

Not bad for just unclogging toilets and fixing computers.

Mark meantime is chatting up everybody.

I don't want to imply nothing bad ever happens to me. Thomas, for example, is now 18, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to justify beating him up. I may have to hold off for a while, or at least figure some way to get an advantage - he's a little bigger than me now.

It wasn't long before I had a two young adult family. Week 10, Day 1, to be precise.

"Right, Tom. Happy birthday. Now, time to get to work. You know all that medical stuff Dad did? Well, your job is to understand it - research, mainly. Get everything working again - we need power, and I don't just mean magic. I mean electricity. I want a new car. Get on it."

"Screw you man." And then my hired thugs beat him unconscious. "OK, OK. What the hell, I'll do it - Mum would have wanted it probably - but you better sleep with one eye open, bro'".

I'm going to have to work out some sort of alarm spell or something.

Thomas is Brave, Couch Potato, Hot-Headed, Insane, and Rebellious. His skills are Athletics 10, Handiness 6, Logic 9, Painting 4, Writing 8. He gets Perfect Mind, Perfect Body as his LTW.

The job is Science. Always a bit tricky - ideally want to do this with better traits - but I don't anticipate any serious problems.

Of course, I get caught with an immediate graduation day, and Mark's boss is dead. Fortunately it's a Monday; a full day of wardialling for both boys (Mark to his only co-worker) gets them both to Friends.

I got promoted rapidly, assisted by lots of friends. So did Tom, actually - little brat knows his botany, for sure, and he's always been handy with mechanical stuff.

Yet another skill challenge for Mark.

On Day 1, Week 11, Mark is a Local Representative and Thomas is a Carnivorous Plant Tender. Neither have missed a promotion yet, though at least Thomas will inevitably start soon.

I became the Vice President. I was close, but I needed more. With a little convincing, and not a little blackmail, I got Tom (a Genetic Resequencer) to make me a clone of the President, but to leave out most of the brain matter. The plan was simple - all I had to do was kill the President, substitute the clone, and let nature take its course - I could feel the power just out of my grasp, but not for long.

Thomas is now into the "fishing" stage, but there won't be any issues in the lift. Mark has missed one promotion - it's tricky to keep up Charisma and keep hunting for a spouse. The spouse hunting is not going well - there are plenty of fairies, but many of them are elders, and a lot are related to the Naturals (you can't marry Nieces or Nephews). I did however find a teenage fairy named Yolanda Fitch-Collins, who will do nicely.

It wasn't enough to just get rid of the president - I had to be the popular choice. I kept doing favours, pulling strings, and pressing palms - the whole town loves me. Even Tom begrudgingly says I might be a necessary evil - and that after he had a "moment of clarity", as he puts it.

Another Charisma challenge achieved. It might take a couple of work days, but I have no doubt about clearing Politics.

Meanwhile, Thomas pulls off the first LTW for the challenge, and shortly thereafter Mark gets another skill challenge.

My biggest fan was a teenager named Yolanda. She comes from good stock, and will make me a fine bride. Tom believes stalking teens is very wrong, but he isn't the one that has to raise a lot of screaming brats, so I'm not overly bothered by his opinion.

The clone screwed up on schedule. Indeed, it went better than I could have hoped - while showing off the "nuclear football" it called down a tactical strike, killing it and all of its underlings - except me, of course, mandated by law not to be in the same area at the same time. A terrified populace unanimously declared me their leader - their saviour.

He's chatting up Yolanda, which is intensely creepy but necessary. In the interim I've grabbed the LTR Fertility Treatment for Mark; I'm trying to get Thomas up enough to buy a Teleportation Pad, but we'll just have to see (I'd rate it "unlikely"; he needs another 25k).

On Week 12, day 2, Mark is a Vice President with Athletics 10, Charisma 8, Cooking 2, Logic 8, Painting 4, Writing 10. Thomas is a Genetic Resequencer with Athletics 10, Cooking 3, Gardening 9, Handiness 7, Logic 10, Painting 4, Writing 8.

My first decree as President was to declare Yolanda to be of age, and then I called her over to our bunker. She hesitantly informed me she already had a partner, but a little persuasion convinced her to trade up.

Politics lifted. And the story is actually true(ish) - on the day he became President, all of his co-workers and boss were gone. What short lives these humans lead. A quick check of Throw Party shows me that Yolanda is now a Young Adult - timing was perfect! Although she already had a partner.

I use the word "had" advisedly.

Yolanda was a petty thug, but she'd managed to steal a functional car. It is of course nowhere near the style in which I usually travel, but it will suffice.

We got started on the next generation immediately. My children will not have the useless father that I had.

Yolanda had three books in her inventory and a car. She is Irresistible, Loves the Heat, Snob, Slob, and Unlucky; her only skill is Handiness 1; she's at level 1 of the Criminal career (and hence cannot return to that after the kids are sorted). Mark has no co-workers or boss, so assuming that situation persists he will be permitted to remain President thanks to his 3 other friends. Should some new Politics people come into existence, so be it, he'll quit. As a side effect, Yolanda joining the household gave Mark the Personable challenge for Charisma.

With kids on the way, Tom knew his days were numbered. But I can probably be persuaded to let him live, and just leave. If he doesn't annoy me.

I didn't get the "rock a bye baby" sound but after 4 consecutive tries I was reasonably sure it had "taken" (remember Mark has Fertility Treatment). Just to be sure, I waited until Yolanda threw up.

Here we are - born to be kings: Mark

Daddy is useless.

He can't even cook food properly - we have to rely on the food Mummy made, and it tastes horrible.

We have this nasty men come to take all our money all the time, and now Daddy isn't working, so he doesn't get any money. He says he will write books. His books are boring. So he said if I thought his books were boring, why not see if I can do better?

So I did. My books are much better than Daddy's. Daddy is useless, an embarrassment, and sometimes I almost miss Mummy.

So, poor Hassan has to quit Symphonic at level 8, and look after the kids. A nasty result, with possibly serious ramifications, but as an adjudicator even if we now change some of those rules I'm not going to retroactively avert the consequences here. It's not the end of the challenge, after all.

But I don't want to sugar coat it either. With no rabbit hole based income, this challenge has now officially reached a crisis point. Hassan is going to have to start writing novels in a desperate attempt to pay the bills. Fortunately, Mark can do that too - and do it better, since thanks to toddler books he is a better writer.

My little brother is a better writer than Daddy too. Daddy is completely useless. Though I guess he has learned to cook - a bit.

Daddy says that when I'm old enough to look after Tommy, he'll go back to work. I don't want to look after Tommy - he's got a funny looking face. But I will bide my time. Daddy knows that I'm really in charge - I just need to get old enough so that the adults will let me take over.

Thomas is Brave, Couch Potato, and Insane. Not awesome traits. But survivable. Insane is going to be largely defanged with Free Will Off.

The novel writing proceeds. On Saturday, Mark has 4 days before he is a teenager. Once that happens, Hassan can go back to work - it is highly doubtful he can lift anything, but he can keep the wolves from the door.

This is just nuts. I'm old enough - I'm a best selling author, damn them! But apparently I'm not allowed to go to work. I'm not allowed to even stay at school. And Dad gets to start work at the hospital - an organ donor. Just as well we fairies don't really need all our organs, but it doesn't sound very fair to me.

But I am already having my revenge. I worked out a spell to extend senility. Now Dad will suffer for way longer than Mum did.

Mark is Easily Impressive, Evil, Mooch, and Shy. Shy is annoying, the rest are tolerable if not exactly desirable. He has Athletics 3 (hopscotch), Logic 6, Painting 4, and Writing 7 (with 2 hits and and best seller).

Hassan has 10 days left until he becomes an elder, and I get him immediately into the Medical career (paper had Military first, then Medical). Hassan currently has Logic 6, so this is not a terrible fit for him - under normal circumstances.

RULE CHANGE APPLIED: Now elders of all occults get 14 days lifespan. Obviously this would have been very useful for me before, but even now it is not irrelevant, as this opens up the possibility of clearing Medical. With this in mind I get Hassan working on Athletic.

Thomas is not entirely on board with me being in charge, but I think after I beat him up a few more times he'll come around. I mean, he doesn't want to be bleeding all the time.

Unfortunately, Dad had a few tricks of his own. He managed to cast the Song of Time - a forbidden spell. I was impressed. I managed to counter some of it, but I couldn't block it completely - for a period everyone would be immune to aging, and therefore senility. I tip my wings to you Dad - I never thought you had that in you. Of course, he never knew I was the source of the partial counter - no doubt he put it down to Nyarlothep. Perhaps it was the Great Old One after all, working through me. Who knows? I stayed home during Worship Of Elder Gods class.

Thomas is Brave, Couch Potato, Insane, and Rebellious. He has Athletics 3 (hopscotch), Logic 6, Painting 4, and Writing 6.

On week 7, day 6 I had a decision to make. Hassan was a Trauma Surgeon; Medical tends to be a career you get promoted quickly in (due to being on call). With only a day to go before becoming elder, and no chance of making Athletics 10, the question was, essentially, turn aging off or not? 11 days for 4 promotions is possibly doable, but it's risky. If I don't do it, Hassan has been basically a waste. I bite the bullet and turn off aging. This will have the unwanted side effect of delaying Mark and Thomas but that can't be helped.

They're on to me.

This isn't Dad - he could never swing this. No, someone bigger. The government, maybe. I managed to avoid any lasting damage, but I'll have to be more circumspect. I must not be the only teenager they're keeping tabs on, but I bet I'm the most dangerous.

I suppose I do have a few space rocks lying around from the meteor strike.

Mark reacted by getting to Athletics 10 the next day (it's easy when you only have to stop for food and bladder). It took Thomas a couple of days more, but it's still all within the aging off period.

I'm a huge best selling author. That's probably my problem - too visible. But I think I can turn it to my advantage. Let's see what the government thinks of my new best selling series "Government Cover Ups".

Leverage. That's what I need. I'll make it a Children's series, they'll never spot it until too late. I'll write dozens of them.

Same day that Thomas gets Athletics 10, Mark gets Prolific Writer.

It was going to be very close to the wire with Hassan, in part because of an unfortunate Snow Flake day, but fortunately he called in to work that day to give him the final boost he needed to level 9. That just left the last level, and he had an opportunity for that (Neighbourhood Outreach) that he'd already partly completed. Still going to be close, but I thought he would make it. Thanks to no curfew from Military, he stopped at the park after work and finished the opportunity.

And I also think I found a way to undo Dad's spell. I am so sick of being a teenager - there's nothing to do except write my subversive kids books, and the kids have to grow up before it will actually have any effect.

I needed Tom's help, but we managed it while Dad was at work.

A specialist in Children's books. Comes on Day 7 of the Unaging period. If Hassan doesn't get promoted today, then Saturday and Sunday will have to pass (unless he gets a fortunate call in) and he'll have to clear on Monday - which he can totally do, it's just I'd prefer to keep some days. But the bar filled easily:

I will grudgingly give Dad his due. Thanks to his efforts the water supply is under our control, and we've got some fairly simple magic to keep it clean. He's also rediscovered a bunch of healing magic that we can conceal under the guise of science, for a while at least.

I will still laugh at his upcoming senility, and we still broke his spell. But he served his purpose, if not quite the way I intended it.

A total of 7 days aging off was needed. And technically, the rule change should have meant that I would have cleared Symphonic easily, but no dwelling on that. Medical is a solid clear, and I can't be too disappointed.

Incidentally, "Mark hates Hassan" hate in the story isn't really fabricated; Hassan's main relationship to his kids is scolding them for skipping school.

If perchance I have offended: Blythe

I could feel the baby - a few little magic tricks I can still do. So I called up old Power Tool and told them I needed some maternity leave. Apparently, that's it - I'm out, job over. I never even got to go to space! They will pay, for sure.

When last we left, I'd just gotten Blythe pregnant. The rest of the evening was spent by her working out to Kids music, while Hassan played guitar accompaniment.

You can hardly tell I'm even preggers.

Tell you what though - this not being able to magically suppress the pain really sucks.

Working out to the Kids channel, of course.

It turns out that Hassan is actually a Music Talent Scout - a full promotion further along. He must have gotten that really quickly after I checked. All good news, of course - especially when I noticed his LTW was to hit level 10 in Symphonic. Have I said before this is a really lucky run?

Baby Mark. Has a bit of the Unseelie about him I reckon, but that's all fine with me. Someone needs to pull the dangerous pranks, and I reckon he's got the gift.

Mark is Easily Impressed and Evil, which is tolerable (though obviously not ideal). Didn't get twins, which is more unfortunate.

Got Bythe pregnant again when Mark returned from work (after transitioning to Adult).

Nyarlothep is such a sore loser. We're making progress, so he chucks a giant meteor at us. Not really sporting - or funny, which is worse.

A meteor! Man - honestly, if this gets any luckier I'll be accused of cheating for sure.

I finally managed to get all the fires out. A massive meteor. I'm pretty sure one of my kids will be able to figure some use for that - even if it did smash my poor car. OK, Nyarlo - I admit, that was pretty funny.

Hassan is holding Mark, so he won't put him down or help in any way. It's up to Blythe to put out the flames.

The bad news is that the car got trashed - and that is pretty bad news, but it's probably a fair trade.

That's right, kids - Thomas was born shortly after Mark started to toddle around. But something is really wrong with me - I hear Nyarlothep trying to take over my mind.

This is absolutely bogus - and I have to fight it. I have to withdraw - sort of like a zombie on the outside, so I can fight properly on the inside. It's going to take everything I have.

I don't think Hassan really understood. He took the meteor to the science facility, thinking they might be able to use it to ... help ... me ...

Born on the same day Blythe is scheduled to become an elder. Still didn't get twins.

Now, with Military lifted, normally I would use this opportunity to just have Blythe move out. But there is a complication - without an adult on the lot, Hassan won't be able to go to work. So Blythe has to hang around, and I have to deal with an uncontrollable elder under Free Will Off. This is going to be interesting.

Hassan grabbed the meteor and took a tour of the Science Lab. Alien Technology lifted!

What is the sound in a vacuum?

Where does the electricity go when you turn off the switch?

If fire is a cleanser, why is ash so dirty?

Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?

Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground.

First they stomp, then they chomp, then they stand still.

The eyes. The eyes are everywhere. So many eyes, I never believed...

They're coming. And I cannot stop them. They're coming.

On the plus side, she can be Called To Meal to eat even rotten food, so she won't die. But I don't know how much use she'll be.

With the help of his ex-wife, who he has since befriended once more, Hassan got promoted to Orchestra Lead shortly before the end of Week 4. He has 20 days to go, and only 2 more promotions - obviously that's not going to be any problem at all.

Blythe was the only one with cooking, but fortunately I have some meals stashed away - Hassan will, of course, have to learn.

Mummy is funny! She just sort of stands around and drools a lot, unless Daddy tells her to eat. Sometimes she collapses. Sometimes she forgets to go to the potty. I drew a picture of her drooling for school, but Daddy said I mustn't tell anybody. I don't know why he wants me to write it down though. Adults are funny.

I liked the milk better than this food. It smells funny. Daddy says he's going to make better food, but I mustn't complain.

You know what? Daddy has to sleep sometimes. I am watching you Daddy.

Mark is an Easily Impressed, Evil, Mooch. Thomas is a Brave Couch Potato. Mark did manage to read all the toddler books, and hopefully so will Thomas.

At 43 days old, Blythe's age bar is maxxed out. That is actually kind of impossible. She had 26 days as an adult, and effectively 26 days as a young adult (not played, but still), and 30 days before she was an adult. That's a total of 82 days, before she even gets to elder. What appears to have happened is that she gets marked as being 40 days old (which is how long it takes a human to become an elder) and then has no extended lifespan (so the extra 3 elder days are it). This has ramifications - are we being too harsh with supernatural elders? Or is this still OK?

It looks like Mummy fell for my prank. Was it funny Mummy? I laughed.

But Daddy was very sad. He had to quit his job and stay home to look after me. I don't like when Daddy watches me too carefully. I think I might need to think of another prank.

Died shortly afterwards. This is of course quite problematic - the usual assumption is that your elder will live long enough to get a child up to teenager. That isn't going to happen here - Mark has another 8 days, while Hassan is two promotions away from the lift.

This situation has never actually occurred for me before. Upon her death a random Sim came into the house; I presume this is a babysitter. I believe the fair thing to do here is to pull Hassan home, quit his job, and proceed.

I'm not even going to call this unlucky. This is a consequence of the elder lifespan setting.

The winter of our discontent: Blythe

What's that human saying - "If it ain't broken, don't fix it?"

Note to self - definitely read and understand more human sayings.

Look, I know, the world kind of ended. Sure, billions died, and the survivors found themselves living in a military dictatorship with corruption endemic through the system, and even organised crime.

My bad?

It was a prank, OK? My brother had just made the President fart on national television. I was just trying to top him, is all.

So I may have cast the spell of summoning and screwed up one of the syllables, so that instead of doughnuts falling from the sky I got the Elder God Nyarlothep instead. I mean, tell me honestly - you never had a day of work where you screwed up?

And yet they call Blythe Natural the bringer of darkness. Or they would, anyway, if they knew that was my name.

I want you to understand though - I am trying to fix it. Unfortunately Nyarlothep suppresses most of my magical abilities, which is kind of a catch-22, but you gotta do the best you can with whatever you still have. Fortunately none of the other fae folk appear to realise it was me - not that there's many of us left. My brother was one of the first ones eaten, but I figure if you hang around the President you gotta take that into account, so that's on him.

Welcome to one of my Sims 3 Apocalypse Challenge blogs. This is for the May 2015 tournament; you can follow the progress on Facebook here and check out the rules here.

This iteration uses Prestige Occult Fairies with a Prestige No-Uni start. Unlike my werewolf and genie apocalypses, there is a genuine need to seed the town here. So first up, I created 5 families of Faeries with one toddler, one child, one teen, one young adult, one adult, and one elder each, all with randomised traits, and placed them around Sunset Valley. I have evicted several human families to make way. That's a total of 30 Sims just to get started - ugh. Fortunately I just completely randomised everything, so it didn't take too long.

I'm using Sunset Valley; my network is 55 Water Lily Lane, 58 Water Lily Lane, and 72 Water Lily Lane; Central Park; the Library; and City Hall. I have the traits Ambitious, Athletic, Schmoozer, Slob, and Workaholic.

From the book shop, I got all the gardening books and all the toddler skill books. This left me with just enough to build a single level basement with bed, toilet, fridge, counter, chess set, radio, desk, computer, driveway, and car - no bookcase to put the books in, so I chucked them all on the floor for now (bookcase will come with first day's wage). That left me with $3. Rolling for the job, I scored a 1 - Military, Medical, or Entertainment. My rule of thumb is that if you roll a 1, 9 times out of 10 you should just take Military without thinking. The tenth time, you should have a think about it, and then take Military anyway. So obviously, Military is where it is at. This is a good start, and I need some luck because lifting with an adult lifespan and then starting a family is quite challenging.

So anyway, first thing I decided to do was become a politician and overthrow this military dictatorship. I was just sort of handing out fliers, when a couple of uniformed bozos grabbed me and made it clear that they didn't like "Underground Resistance." I told them I didn't like any grunge bands, but they didn't seem to think that was funny - I was informed that a brief tour in the military would squash the rebel out of me.

Which means I found myself cleaning latrines, with a strict housing budget that basically amounted to "build yourself a scary underground cave". Bogus, am I right?

My new best friend that called himself "Power Tool Corporal" (or something like that - I was kind of spaced out during the whole induction speech) gave us all implants that yell at us to "drop and give me 20!" every 5 minutes, or so it seemed. Huh. They still have functional tech of some kind then - just not for us plebs. Good to know. I make some buddies, and learn that good old Power Tool isn't so bad after all. You got to be careful making friends with humans though - sometimes it seems like they only live a few days. One of my buddies didn't even show for work the day after induction.

I got promoted pretty quickly, possibly because I kept disposing of excess latrine "overflow" under the general's bed until he got the hint. It seemed like only a couple of days passed before I was officially an "Ugh" (or something like that), and winning their little military olympics (hey, if they don't want me flying to win the high jump, they should put that in the rules).

A little while later I had some nerd in a white coat approach me and say that they were impressed with me. His eyes never left my chest the whole time - creep - and I spurned him the way I would spurn a rabid dog.

The other good thing about Military is that it uses Athletic, so I'm getting use out of my traits. Handiness might prove tricky to get to required levels; once I get the bookcase I will get a free Handiness 1 book, so that's the first 3 levels, but after that tinkering with the toilet is going to be the main source.

Of course, she spends the rest of Sunday working out and playing chess, gaining a point of Athletic and Logic in the process.

First day of work, I get the Stay Late opportunity (which is allowed, since it occurs directly after work), so I switched from Work Hard to Meet Fellow Soldiers (no point getting a relationship boost if there aren't any targets, and the performance bar was filling up anyway). One of the tricky parts of this challenge will be that with short human lifespans a lot of humans will die, so her friends list is likely to be a constantly evolving document. I don't have a mirror yet, but I decided to get one with Monday's pay check and save the bookcase until Tuesday, so I can get a point of Charisma. The day ends with a promotion to Mess Hall Server, buying a mirror, and giving all my money away to charitable causes (like "the mob boss's 2nd diamond studded swimming pool").

On Tuesday, I got the Military Athletics opportunity - which is ALSO allowed, since you can do it directly after work AT work. So she got promoted to Grunt and then got a bit of a boost towards the next day as well. With this much luck I'm about due some major disaster.

With little sleep, she was dead tired on Wednesday, but the opportunity plus the Handiness point (that I got from the book that arrived with my new bookcase) + Work Hard was enough to secure yet another promotion to Squad Leader. I got an opportunity to switch to Science 3 that I decided instantly not to take.

White coats don't work with my complexion anyway. I make this uniform look hot.

Before too long at all they had me using my flying abilities to deliver care packages. Well, I thought they were care packages. I mean, I'm no scientist, but do care packages typically annihilate buildings when you drop them? Must remember to look that up.

Soon, they were calling me "Wingwoman", which is a pretty stupid super hero name. I wanted "Hawk Woman" myself, but apparently there was some sort of copyright issue - I mean, you can destroy 99% of the population, but lawyers are still going to bite you in the butt. Can't really blame them in my case - it's such a cute butt.

Wasn't too impressed with the builders though. You get rationed for building supplies, right, and even though I had a bunch of money they wouldn't let me build everything I wanted. Lady needs a hot tub, but apparently can't be had at any price, even with the threats. Kind of really brings the apocalypse home, you know? I mean, sure, lots of people dying and blah blah, but who is standing up and demanding hot tubs? Just me, looks like.

They made me a fighter pilot, partly because apparently the ability to fix clogged toilets puts you on the fast track. It might have been Power Tool looking out for me - good old Erin Kennedy. She would have made a pretty decent fairy.

Thursday is a day off. I'm already Friends or better with all my work mates (Best Friends with the boss), so my Athletics 2 is the most glaring thing to work on first. She does have to spend quite a lot of time sleeping, but in a couple of stints I get her to Athletics 4 and Handiness 2. She goes to work quite tired again, but the weekend was coming up so that seemed OK. The performance bar still got filled, so she ended up promoted to Flight Officer.

At the end of the week, she has Athletics 6, Handiness 4, and Logic 2 (playing chess to refuel fun on the zombie day). She's a bit tired and extremely lonely (a full weekend skilling will do that), but raring to go back to work on the Monday. A promotion to Wingwoman follows. I must say, Schmoozer - which I'm trying out at the suggestion of Sarah J Davis - is proving to be quite handy in making friends. I got started on the second level of the basement and then cleared the cash.

With promotion to Fighter Pilot, we start to run into some of the military issues. Blythe has never not been promoted on the same day. It is currently Thursday, and she has 15 days to go before becoming an Elder. That means she has 13 days left, maximum, to hit the top of the career. Assuming she gets promoted on Friday and again on Monday, and then finally on Wednesday, that's a minimum of another 6 days. Which should be fine, but she really can't afford to miss any promotions.

I won the body building contest, kicking the butts of all the guys that don't even lift. I am just so hot and terrific it's really hard to be humble some times, you know? I'm not sure if it was directly related, but suddenly I was a squadron leader. It is weird flying alongside dudes in planes, and wondering if they're checking out my butt. What am I thinking? Of course they're checking out my butt. They're only human.

At least partly on the basis of my cute butt, I reckon, I got quickly promoted to Top Gun, and they started talking about a space program. Put me in charge of that, and let's see how many changes I can make. I really started furiously fixing the toilet, because I reckon that's a handy skill on a spaceship.

Athletics currently 7, should be able to keep that up no problem now. And indeed I do not miss the Friday promotion, so now she's a Squadron Leader. End of week 2, she has Athletics 9, Charisma 1, Handiness 6, and Logic 2. Promotion to Top Gun followed.

Unfortunately, it wasn't looking good for Wednesday. Because I was a bit tired, with only Athletics 9 and Handiness 7, I was going to just miss - and then the King of the Hill opportunity appeared to save me! Truly this has been a very fortunate start to the challenge. The extra time alone was sufficient to get me the promotion to Astronaut - Hopelessness and Military were both lifted.

And it appears that the uppities that run things agreed, because it seemed like only a couple of days later I was in the space programme. There was a massive cheer - way more than I thought I'd get. It's like all these poor dudes and dudettes were really sad, and I've kind of just given them a little hope.

Which is awesome because hope can power some pretty cool tricks.

I guess now I'd better find another fairy and make with the horizontal tango. I've seen wrinkles - wrinkles! - and I'm supposed to live for centuries. I guess maybe I really screwed up worse than I thought. Clearly can't be trusted to fix it myself, right? So get a bunch of kiddies to fix it for me - win win, for me at least.

So the lift comes on Week 3, Day 4. The bad news is I don't even know any fairies, but that's a solvable problem. A good night's sleep takes me to the point where I have 8 days until becoming an elder - plenty of time to have one pregnancy, and hopefully two or even three. The next day is spent meeting a few fairies, including two Young Adult males. One is in Medical (Bed Pan Cleaner) and the other in Music (Band Manager). Tricky. I decide to go for the Music one, and get him to lift Symphonic.

A little convincing gets him to dump his current paramour. (Kind of a shame, she's a fairy too - must repair that relationship).

Turns out the manager of one of my favourite bands was single. Well, he was after I told him what his wife did behind his back - I had to call in a few favours to plant the evidence, but it was totally worth it. Badda-bing, badda-boom and we're hitched.

A little more convincing and they're married. Hassan has Guitar 4 as his only skill. He's Adventurous, Equestrian, Couch Potato, Hydrophobic, and a Virtuoso. While he had a guitar in his inventory, I had to sell it - but that was no problem, I just bought him another one with my one object per day. He has only 3 days until becoming an adult - but I should be able to work with that.

As it turns out his ex-wife is his boss, but fortunately the fact that he's not - quite - friends with her yet is allowed, since he's just joined the family.

Yowza! I mean, Hassan is a little chubby for my tastes, but I'll soon get him working out with me.

Pregnancy achieved. She has 7 days till she's an elder, so I'll be trying for at least two more pregnancies.