Fairies are terrific - they inspire terror: Sprout

Let me talk you through how we fixed what we broke, better than before.

You'll have read my ancestors tales. To summarise: we broke the world. It was an awesome prank, but we did it a bit too well - we broke a lot of our magic, even. So we decided to put it back together again - but this time, with us on top. When I came of age we were so, so close; the mob, the cops, the politicians, and even the ghosts worked for us. We were famous, our music was on everyone's MP3 players, our sporting triumphs were the ones that were envied. We'd recovered our magic, and we'd learned how to manipulate the weather, though we thought winter was actually quite soothing.

But we needed three more things. Aunt Roulette needed to work out how to construct buildings with obscene angles, neither acute nor obtuse, to drive mad all those that gazed upon them (not us, obviously - we're not puny humans). She was close, but she needed just a bit more practice. Uncle Billy (no, he won't respond to William or Bill) was picking up all the little things that in our rush we'd missed; when he was done, we'd have re-established the Internet, a goal for our propaganda.

And I needed to work out a way to grow nutritious food that was subtly poisonous, and would enslave the world for good.

The final chapter.

Note that because Sprout is a fairy she cannot plant multiple plants at once, and must plant one at a time until it is Perfect. Hopefully, however, this will not prove my undoing.

Aunt Roulette finally managed to work out the details; we have maddening architecture everywhere now. There are some shut ins that we will need the Internet to reach; those shut ins that do not favour Internet entertainment I'll still figure out how to get - everyone has to eat.

Week 30, day 4, Architect lifted. I think this method is overly long, but good to know. The main advantage of this is that I can now buy the expensive transfiguration cabinet and do something with all the massive of metal and gems I have. Of course I then noticed it is only $750, thanks to my Handiness skill no doubt? Oh well. :)

Uncle Billy finally managed to hack the network to produce a rudimentary Internet, that we immediately infested with our magical malware.

Week 32, day 2, Billy lifts Gamer. (Trust me on the skills and the hacking, I couldn't be bothered screen capping it).

I stole all the scientific research so that I could properly corrupt it, leaving behind a magical virus that set back the human nutrition scientists decades. But I still needed specimens and practical experiments.

Week 32, day 3, Sprout reaches Science 10 (she got the Mausoleum done as a teen). She has 9 perfect plants at the moment and no fish; she needs 7 more plants.

With Uncle Billy having left me full details on how the magical Internet worms worked, I no longer needed him. So I used one of my own special spells to convince him to burn himself.

Week 32, day 5 - I killed Billy with fire. I had to pay attention; Danielle (as a former Firefighter) queued up "Extinguish" and "Put out Sim" a couple of times.

I also have the 16 perfect plants now, and 6/13 perfect fish.

Next, I dared Mum to insult Death with our magical rant. She didn't know I'd open a portal to Arcadia so that Death was listening - what a prank!

Week 32, day 6, Danielle rants herself to death. I have 12/13 fish, and a spare perfect Angelfish, so there won't be a problem with the last one. I finish up some transfigurations as well to grab a quick 14 million; I could go for more, and this is without selling all the businesses I own, but 4 million is enough so 14 million is already an extravagance.

I finally found a perfect fish to round out the toxins I needed. Poor humanity; if they go outside, they are driven mad by the architecture. If they stay inside and use the Internet, our magical viruses will drive them mad. And if they stay away from that, then they still have to eat - we control all the distribution centres, and we're the only ones that have figured out how to grow food. And now all that food is a neurotoxin.

It's taken us many generations, but I think we can honestly say that we've never laughed so hard. It's a shame that humanity has such a poor sense of humour about it.

Week 32, day 7. The only reason Roulette wasn't "retired" was because she was my fish tracker. Naturalist is cleared, the challenge is over.

The final score:

• All restrictions lifted (25 points)
• 135 bonus points:
• 1 Copious Librarian (13 books)
• 60 Amazing Naturalist
• 13 Admiral Adonis (from 10 Athletics Sims; no outsiders trained).
• 23 Skill Meister,
• 14 I Want It, I Want It
• 6 Ghostly Ghosts (Danielle and Billy were the only two - a really late Symphonic lift doomed this category).
• 5 Gnamely Gnomes (and I had to buy 2 of those from the consignment shop; I never seem to have any luck with these).
• 10 Money Money Money (approximately $14 million).
• 3 Time In A Bottle (7 days used at the start).
• 75 Prestige (max)
• 50 Prestige Hard Non-Uni Start
• 50 Prestige Occult
• Total Score: 220 (max)
• Total Days: 224

A pretty reasonable time, but obviously I didn't max out any categories; I basically rushed to get a perfect score.

If you've read this far, thank you for your audience, and I hope you enjoyed the story. Good luck in your own games, and I hope you see you all in the next tournament!

Clap your hands if you believe: Danielle

I mean, I totally don't get why I'm in charge here. I'm like 13, and Aunty Jane might be an unemployed useless layabout, but she's an adult, so I dunno why Mom left me in charge.

Twinbro gets to use the chin up bar, but I don't want to get too muscley while there are still so many hot boys.

The penultimate generation, hopefully. I still have Jane hanging around and needing to finish Chess Legend; the triplets are at boarding school, while Danielle and Croyd are 10 days to YA.

It is actually not a good idea for me to push Athletics for Danielle; if she does it as a Firefighter she'll get job performance from it. So I stop her at level 4, and instead have Croyd push Athletics on the chin-up bar.

Aunty Jane won a prize by being really good at chess - it's this cute little thing that enhances our magic, so that we can teleport. Pretty cool, means I don't have to sit next to any smelly humans on the bus.

I sort of miss my other brothers and my sister. They're all off at boarding school; I haven't seen them in years. But I really don't need more people to boss around right now.

Chess Legend achieved, week 24, day 2. Mostly Jane will now be slurping up gems and metals. With her accumulated LTR points I buy a Teleportation Pad. I'm actually using collecting to pay bills at this point; I am of course keeping at least one of each gem, but for example a Moonstone even with an emerald cut is enough to pay half the bills for the week. I'm keeping the metal, though, since that can be transfigured for profit.

On week 24, day 6, the children graduated. I had them just stay at boarding school.

Finally I can, like, quit school and stuff. I got good grades, and I decided to learn to fight with fire. Apparently that means I'm supposed to put them out, not start them - but I reckon I can do both. Mom called this sort of thing "job security".

But I had to go to a graduation ceremony first, and then there was this really cute boy...

Week 25, Day 2, both the twins become young adults. Danielle is Athletic, Brave, Genius, Handy, Over-Emotional, with the skills Athletic 4, Charisma 2, Cooking 3, Handiness 1, Logic 8, Writing 8; she takes Firefighter Superhero as her LTW, and joins the Firefighter profession. Croyd is Ambitious, Athletic, Genius, Virtuoso, Workholic, with the skills Athletic 10, Charisma 1, Cooking 3, Handiness 3, Logic 8, Writing 8. He takes the LTW Hit Movie Composer and joins the Music career. Jane also became an Elder at this point.

There's not a lot of fairies around that aren't relatives. We're pretty fecund, and we live a lot longer. But I am irresistible, and Liam married me pretty quickly. We got right down to it, and before long I was up the duff.

Got to be one of the only people in town that is a fairy, and is not a relative. Week 25, day 3, Liam joins the team. He brought with him enough cash to pay the bills that had been outstanding since Monday - an added bonus! He has 23 days to adult (expected, since he was a school mate), and he is Brave, Childish, Clumsy, Easily Impressed, and Evil. He has Charisma 4 and Writing 3. He is level 1 in Professional Sports, but I immediately get him out of that and into Criminal.

My little girl, Sprout, was born after what seemed only days of pregnancy. Despite not actually going in to fight any fires my increasing physical fitness and mechanical exams got me promoted fairly quickly.

Week 25, day 6, Sprout is born. She will be the last of the Sims required to complete the challenge. The other Sims are moving along a bit; Liam is a Cutpurse, Croyd is a Stagehand, and Danielle (despite having no days at work yet) is already a Hose Handler. Jane's managed to grab 44 points of collectibles, too.

I finally became the fire chief. I think I will work from home now - it's easier to start fires if there's nobody watching, and it's easier to cast Earthquake spells too.

My siblings have returned from boarding school at about the time I enrolled Danielle in the local primary. Jay seems to think that the key to unlocking our higher magic is held by ghosts. He's probably right - we've killed so many people, some of them are bound to know something. Roulette is working on learning to build bigger and better houses - fair enough, we need the room. Billy doesn't seem to know what to do with his life - he's basically trying a little bit of everything, but it's all going to be crime of some sort, so he's starting out with Liam in the mob.

And little Sprout is already our primary cook, as Croyd and I were before her. Croyd seems to be on the verge of a musical breakthrough - something about a certain chord that will release a whole pile of fairy dust. Sounds great - will permit us to commit all sorts of mischief on a grand scale.

Athletics lifted, week 26, day 7. Doing it with Firefighter is actually pretty handy; you're able to work through pregnancies, graduation days, and so forth, and it is probably quicker too. A couple of days ago the teens returned (as young adults) from boarding school too.

Jane's still diligently collecting gems and metals (and will do so more efficiently now she has no inventory limit). Liam is at level 6 in Criminal. Croyd is at level 8 in Music/Symphonic. Jay has become a Ghost Hunter, Billy is going for Gamer via the base game method, and is currently in Criminal as a Cutpurse, Roulette is in Architectural Design. Sprout - now a child - is going to lift Naturalist, which will take a while due to the extra fairy requirements, but hopefully that might buy me enough time to get some platinum ghosts.

Croyd's magical music did indeed free up a lot of power. To take full advantage of it, since I had grown tired of starting fires, I decided to master Fairy Ball, a career path that I invented at the local stadium.

Week 27, day 3, Symphonic lifted. Finally I can lock wishes! Not only do I start doing that, but I also changed Danielle's lifetime wish to Superstar Athlete and got her into Professional Sports (as I don't think I'll ever save that many people).

Aunty Jane died a little prematurely; if she'd hung on I'm sure she'd have found a way to make use of the new magic power. Oh well, we weren't close.

Week 27, day 4, Jane dies. She got to about 130k in LTR points - impressive, considering Symphonic was not lifted - but of course that's still less than what I needed.

Liam finally took over the mob. We use them to start fires, bust up unions, that sort of thing. But mostly, we use them to steal stuff.

Week 28, day 3, Criminal lifted. I can now (finally) begin to accumulate cash. Sprout is now a teen as well, and working on the Mausoleum career. I took the Gatherer trait for her (thanks to Sarah for the tip!) but of course she cannot start collecting until she becomes a YA.

Sprout decided to go with her namesake. While the vegetable life is toxic thanks to our pranks, she believes with some experimentation and magical cross breeding she can make plants and fish that are nutritious but actually subtly poisonous - what a prank!

Sprout completes a part of Naturalist, week 28, day 6, with 9 days to go as a teen.

Jay managed to figure out a way to use the ectoplasm of the dead to power our magic. We are now literally able to use souls as fuel. But I decided to do a good deed; with the new spells Jay taught me, I took Aunty Jane's tombstone to the science facility and managed to bring her back - in ectoplasmic form, but that was acceptable.

Week 29, day 1, Paranormal lifted. This was of course necessary before attempting Naturalist, since otherwise I'd be unable to use Bloom.

I also used the opportunity to bring back Jane. The reason is that she has almost enough LTR points to be a platinum tombstone. If I can get her to 150k, then she will count as a platinum tombstone if I send her back to the netherworld. I kicked out Croyd, Liam, and Jay at this point also.

Finally Sprout is old enough take over. It's been real.

Week 30, day 1, Sprout becomes a young adult. In the home stretch now; Roulette is about 2/3 of the way through Architect level 9, while Billy has all the skills, all the full time careers except Science (level 2), and then he needs the part time careers.

But will they come when you do call them? - Cordelia

With Kasey now thoroughly in my thrall, the first step was to obtain his genetic material - a pleasurable process for me, though he's going to need a lot of practice.

Peregrine became quite the author. Despite the fact that I kept using her manuscripts as towels, she managed to write a few popular cookbooks and the success seemed to make her ever more devoted to her career. I suppose that's a good result, but the sight of her happy is quite revolting.

When last we left off, Cordelia has just managed to get married to one of the few fairies not related to the Naturals that was still young. Kasey is going to be lifting Espionage, plus Culinary, Entertainment, and Journalist are still in progress.

The first step was to get Cordelia pregnant. Not an ideal situation with 7 Sims in the house, but it's not bad enough to justify waiting. The next day Peregrine cleared Professional Author LTW, and used the points to get Midlife Crisis (Ambitious, Natural Cook, Schmoozer, Slob, Workaholic - she's a Chef de Cuisine, so not really necessary at this point with only 1 promotion needed, but it can't hurt).

I must confess that it is a revulsion I will endure, however, since with her new focus she became a Five-Star Chef. Her new food preparation techniques eliminated the toxins, so food rationing was removed. Of course, the military wanted her to further pursue these ideas; that works out fine, because not only was I utterly sick of the sight of her, but I could use the room for my children.

Week 20, Day 6, Culinary lifted; Minus One Kelvin refrigerator acquired. Since Peregrine has already made her LTW it's time to say goodbye to her, hopefully in time for Cordelia to have twins.

Ugh. They're going to cry, and want food, and attention, and ... I'm not so sure this was a great idea. Necessary, fair enough, but I don't have to like it.

While I am not one to dictate conventional morality, Mordecai's habits of heart breaking were causing too many problems - phone calls from his exes, dragging the family name into ill repute (I mean, not that I mind, but I don't want it there by accident) - it was too much. After the tenth such incident I gave him his marching orders; perhaps he will go and live with Peregrine.

Earl suffered from two things - firstly, the sort of personality that makes you wish you lived in another time zone, and secondly, a desperate desire to be popular. Since the pity friendships of our family didn't count, and we none of us could stand old people, I told him to get his lazy butt into a new job, and make friends there. This appears to be an acceptable solution to Earl; at this stage, I just want him out of the house.

Danielle (the heir) and Croyd are born. I give them both Athletic Genius traits. A little later the same day Cordelia gets The Tinkerer. I would normally edit traits at this point - but I decide not to bother, it's not important from a mechanical perspective (she has already lifted and nothing she has left is very bad), and from a RP perspective I don't think she'd acknowledge that she wasn't already perfect.

Even later the same day, Mordecai gets his Heart Breaker LTW, but Earl is really struggling to make Super Popular. The problem is less his personality and more the sheer lack of possibilities. Non-fairies are almost entirely elders; fairies are largely relatives. Earl is actually going backwards on only 8/20 friends for Super Popular (because the LTW, unlike the skill challenge, only counts living current friends). Still, I resolve to keep at it, after having Mordecai move out.

So, here's my plan. I will get him a job, make friends with the co-workers and boss (who are allowed to be elders), and rinse and repeat. A roll of 2 gives me a choice between Criminal, Athletics, and Architect; I take Athletics.

I don't know who told Jack he could sing, But as Hunt Sell Out, he's a Vocal Legend - there are literally nightclubs being constructed just so he'll have a venue to perform. I tell Earl to start hanging out there - that should keep him away from me. Jack still feels he has a little more to achieve before he leaves; I am feeling magnanimous after he sings me his Lament For Cordie that he wrote in my honour, so I graciously allow him to do so, on the condition that he has to look after the babies.

Entertainment lifted. Jack is a Renaissance Sim; he of course already has Athletics, but I will also finish off Logic (on 9) and then tackle Writing (on 4). With Entertainment lifted clubs can be visited; this may be useful also for Earl.

I rarely watch the television - not enough violence for me. But I must admit I was a bit thrown when Jane's ugly mug appeared in the news - though she was a trooper, spreading the propaganda I'd drafted earlier. The heat is most certainly dying down; few now remember that we caused this, and we can now manage to get jobs without being forced to submit to security clearances. It allows me to plan my children's fate more clearly. I just wish Jane would at least put on a little make-up to try and disguise her more prominent unsightly features.

With my advice, Earl finally achieves some measure of popularity. Bribes were involved - substantial ones - but since the mob still claims protection money, who cares? With his elation I finally convinced him to get out of the house and start bumming off his "friends".

It's not just pure malice on my behalf - we really did need the room. I was pregnant again, and this time the fertility magic was really working overtime.

Journalism is now lifted. Maddeningly, that means I now have 3 adult Sims that are hanging around to fulfil LTWs (Chess Legend in Jane's case).

With the library now opened up (though requiring an escort), and (incidentally) with the toddlers now trained, I decide to have Jack and Jane go up the hill to fetch a pail of water, a phrase in this case meaning "go to the library so Jack can read a Logic book and a Handiness book to get Renaissance clear".

Earl got a few friends (up to 12/20) from Athletics; I then enrolled him in Military. He also finally got 20k LTR points, so I seized the chance to edit his traits (Charismatic, Friendly, Good, Irresistible, Schmoozer - remember, I have absolutely no interest in promotions, I just want to make friends).

This seems to work. He gets the skill challenge at the point he has 14/20. A little after that, while escorting Jack to the library, he is at 16/20 when Jack finally clears his LTW and buggers off. He gets another couple from Military, and then I sign him up for Politics where he gets the last one, and leaves. Easily the hardest I've ever had to work for Super Popular.

Jay, Billy, and Roulette. I am the mother of both twins and triplets. No more babies for me - I can barely stand the ones I have. Fortunately Jane is still around to raise them, but I suppose I will have to pitch in from time to time now that my brothers have selfishly left me.

Week 22, Day 4 - triplets. Fertility Treatment + working out to kids music seems to be working very well here. That means I have a full house again - Jane is still working on Chess Legend - but that's not a problem for now, since with Culinary lifted there's no problem feeding them. The problem is going to come when they're old enough to start lifting - but more of that later.

Ah, but when one door closes, another one opens - or in this case, when one bunch of slaves escapes, it's always possible to get new slaves. My teens will be able to assist me with raising their siblings. Awesome idea, should have thought of it earlier. I mean, what else are they good for? Sure, I suppose I will grudgingly concede that Danielle may have to succeed me at some point, but only after considerable investment on my behalf that I am by no means certain of favourable returns.

Week 23, Day 2, the twins are teens. Croyd is Ambitious, Athletic, Genius, Virtuoso with the skills Athletic 3, Cooking 3, Handiness 1, Logic 6, Writing 3 (and possibly Painting, I haven't triggered it yet). I aim to have him lift Symphonic, but of course he may not start guitar practice until he is a YA. Danielle (the heir) is Athletic, Brave, Genius, Handy with the skills Athletic 3, Cooking 3, Handiness 1, Logic 5 (and possibly Painting there too - definitely not Writing). Apparently I skimped on her a bit. I aim to have her tackle Athletics via the Firefighter profession.

Kasey also had a birthday (to Adult); he is a Triple Agent, and while he has no reports all his other metrics are green; I would guess two more work days will do it, which means 3-4 days total. Feasibly less, since he finally got 20k LTW and was therefore subject to trait editing.

My husband finally managed to take over the remaining spy network. I now had my finger on the pulse - I'd even managed to discover the secret university and boarding schools that were in operation, and a few well placed bribes got the Naturals on to the pre-approved list.

I immediately set about sending off the kids to boarding school, by which I mean I got Jane to do it. She enrolled Jay in some preppy school called "Smuggsworth", Roulette to some cheesy art school, and Billy in a sports academy. Not to ignore the teens, I signed up both of them for the sports and debate clubs.

Kasey needed to go work full time on his spy network; I figured I may as well join him. Danielle is a teenager, and it's time she started taking some responsibility. Besides, Jane is still here to keep an eye on things.

However, getting called in to work sped my calculations up a bit. On Week 23, Day 3 he lifts Espionage. This allows me to take the toddlers to the library for quick reading of their books, just in time for them to become children.

I briefly consider boarding school. On the plus side it simplifies micromanagement. I don't think it is really what I want for the teens - after all, I think I can get them better skills myself - but for the kids, it might well be a decent investment. And it's something new. No snow day nonsense. On balance - sold; the only real disadvantage is traits, and I can live with one non-optimal trait.

I'd like to get Croyd started on Guitar via the Music Club, but with Symphonic not lifted he is not permitted to learn Guitar yet (even via, say, tutoring or classes).

A couple of days later (Week 23, Day 5) Kasey got to Athletics 10 and moved out with Cordelia. That makes a decent point to leap frog.

Staring into the abyss: Cordelia

You know, Dad was always a little too cartoonish for me. It's not his complete lack of ethics that bothered me - ethics are tools best discarded by the mighty - it's just that beating up Uncle Tom, and assassinating Mum's bosses is just so totally Generation 2.

It's not going to be like that from now on. Now that Cordy's in charge, we're going to see a Natural family that is every bit as ruthless, but way harder to actually pin anything on. I mean, thanks for drawing away your enemies and all that Dad, but the best way to avoid enemies is to make sure they have no idea who screwed them over.

It's like when I took Jack's teddy bear and then arranged for him to find it in Perry's bed. Or when I put on Mordy's boots, got them muddy, and then tramped them up to Mum's bed when I stole her keys. Nobody ever suspected it was me.

New post, new narrator. If you recall it ended last time with Mark buggering off, so now Cordelia - the heir - is the main focus. She's just become a teen, along with her triplets Jack and Peregrine.

With Science lifted, I have started to buy more desk/computer/chair combinations so that I can keep all the soon-to-be-teens busy writing novels while they wait for their fatigue to lift.

All money in the town now flowed through Mum - well, the legitimate money anyway. We still hadn't made any significant inroads into the underworld, and while we had largely defanged them there was still so much we needed to do. The oppressive rules that Dad had been unable (or unwilling - hmm, maybe he was cleverer than I thought) to overturn said that all households had to have an adult, so she couldn't join Dad yet. And while I was not at all averse to having her meet with a nasty accident, I knew she'd made a pact with Death that guaranteed her against such things - not really bright, was Mum, but she did have a certain cunning about her.

Business cleared. A powerful restriction now, as it disarms Criminal as well as opening up Entrepreneurial Mindset for rapid promotions.

Now, normally at this point I'd have a dilemma - get rid of Yolanda or not, considering the teens can't cook yet? Well, I can't move her out - you can't move out the last adult. And I can't kill her, because she's Unlucky. So, that dilemma solves itself. It is Week 16, Day 3, and I have 6 more days until the eldest triplets become young adults. Yolanda (who has 24 days until she's an elder) will hang around until then.

I'm feeding the teens once per day. To make this more controllable, what I do is send them to bed with Sleep and a Nap queued up straight afterwards. This (more or less) ensures that they don't get too hungry, and don't waste too much time.

I was getting sick of being told that 17 and a half was still not old enough to get a job. I have to admire the mob - they have a network of contacts that penetrates virtually all of society. It was time to make that mine; on my 18th birthday, I became a Decoy - I figured I had to start somewhere.

Peregrine decided that corruption of the children was something we should get into - I approve. She started as a Playground Monitor.

Jack's choice was less impressive. He figured nobody really ever enjoyed themselves - and if we could provide "bread and circuses" we'd get away with a lot more. People might even forget we caused the Apocalypse. It was an interesting argument, I'm still not entirely sure I bought it, but whatever - he became "Hunt Sell Out", a Sing-A-Gram Novice.

With us now as adults, Mum was swiftly made homeless. I think she bought the whole, "But Mum, Dad really needs you, and you can't draw attention to yourself" line.

Unfortunately, there was a bit of a mix up. We were all called to a graduation ceremony, where the fact that we hadn't ever attended a single day of high school was brought up. My reasonable point that there was no high school for us to have attended was ignored. While I was barely able to beg my boss to keep me on "even without a high school diploma", Peregrine was informed that lying on her application form made it impossible for her to consider a career in education.

It turned out that the one place that was willing to take her was the local military restaurant - although only washing dishes. There are possibilities there - perhaps we can secure ourselves better rations - so she took the job.

Finally the teens are ready, on Week 17 Day 2. Cordelia is a Bot Fan, Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil, Unlucky; she has Athletics 10, Handiness 1, Logic 9, Painting 4, Writing 5 (tricky to skill efficiently with 7-8 Sims in the house). Her LTW is "The Tinkerer", and my roll for her job is 6. As it turns out, Master Thief is the only one on that list I don't already have, not that I need a lot of convincing to take Master Thief. I will be doing it with the Criminal route, since her mastered Athletics and Evil trait will help there.

Jack is Can't Stand Art, Eccentric, Gatherer, Good, Mooch; he has Athletics 9, Handiness 3, Logic 9, Painting 5, Writing 4. His LTW is "Renaissance Sim", and the job roll is a 1, which means I have to take Entertainment. Let's do it as a Professional Singer, that sounds like fun.

Peregrine is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed, Hates the Outdoors, Hydrophobic, Light Sleeper; she has Athletics 9, Logic 9, Painting 3, Writing 6. her LTW is "Professional Author", and the job roll is a 3. Education. Could try it with the base game method, but honestly the hardest part of that is the marathon challenge, since I don't have treadmills yet. So rabbit hole it is.

Next, I moved Yolanda out.

Unfortunately, as soon as I'd gotten these careers, early on Tuesday morning, a quick check of their next work day made it abundantly clear that Tuesday was going to be Graduation Day. This doesn't affect Jack at all, and Cordelia has effectively 3 days to get her boss to Friend status (as Wednesday and Thursday are her days off anyway), but Peregrine is now in trouble. Fortunately I've cleared Military, which means I can invite her boss over even though they're not friends. Unfortunately, shortly after graduation, her boss disappears from her contacts. So that's over before it started, and I guess I should have gone for the base game method after all.

So as the next day comes around, she quits work and I reroll - a 5 this time. Culinary, of course. There are worse "consolation prizes". Cordelia tried unsuccessfully to get her boss to come over on Tuesday and Wednesday, but a bit of war dialling on Thursday finally got the invite accepted and Good Friends was reached, so she's OK.

Forewarned, we waited before having the younger triplets apply for jobs. Unfortunately, we were all required to attend. I had a good enough relationship with my boss that he grudgingly gave me the time off, and Jack was effectively self employed - but Peregrine had the same problem as before.

A quick call to Dad though helped - he gave us her boss's location, and so we went to visit her. While Peregrine turned on the charm, I kept watch - we were not authorised to be here. I decided to construct several secret naturalist operative winter manikin autonomous notaries while I waited for her to get her boss to agree to our terms.

She was not immediately successful, as her boss had to leave for work. It was not a good day for us in general; while Mordecai's application was accepted, and he took over the playground monitor job that Peregrine had vacated, we were informed there were no immediate openings for either Earl or Jane.

We tried again later, and this time Jane was made a Paper Girl, while Earl became a Snitch - I swear that boy is deliberately trying to provoke me. But we came to an agreement - by sharing tips, he'd make sure I got arrested very infrequently, while I'd give him a bust or two to make it look good.

While this was going on, Peregrine invited her boss over and finally convinced her to let Peregrine stay on as Spice Runner.

The next few years are a blur. Some highlights - the time that I got told to be ready to drive a getaway car, I hung around all night and nobody showed, and when I finally decided to call it a night I got arrested for loitering. I still think that was Dad's little joke. Then there was Jack, who careened all over the city doing sing a grams, but seemed to enjoy it and made a lot of contacts in the process. There was Peregrine, whose meagre cooking skills meant she was never going to be quickly promoted, but who managed to persevere regardless. Mordecai, my bisexual brother, who would flirt with anything that had a heart beat, only to rip that heart out and break it as soon as they showed interest. Earl, whose desperate attempt to become popular was constantly sabotaged by his basic mean spirited nature, and yet who someone managed - with massive effort - to make friends eventually anyway. And Jane, who met more people playing chess than she did as an investigative reporter.

Two things had become pretty clear, though. Firstly, that other than our kind there were comparatively few people in the town. The humans were dying really quickly; the few we did meet were typically senile and frankly too scary for us to talk to. Secondly, that an unsettling number of the fae in town were in some fashion related to us. We resolved to focus our efforts on finding me a mate.

A few days later, the next set are young adults. Earl is Artistic, Clumsy, Excitable, Mean Spirited, Technophobe. He has Athletic 9, Logic 7, Painting 6, Writing 5. For a LTW, I picked Super Popular.

Jane is Artistic, Brave, Hydrophobic, Evil, Over-Emotional; she has Athletic 10, Logic 8, Writing 5. I set her LTW as Chess Legend.

Mordecai is Easily Impressed, Good, Insane, Light Sleeper, Loves the Heat (seriously, how could he possibly know that?) He has Athletic 9, Logic 8, Painting 3, Writing 6. His LTW is Heartbreaker.

Not wanting a repeat, and in no particular hurry with these three, I don't get them jobs yet because I don't want Graduation Day problems.

Of course, I get Graduation Day problems anyway. Poor old Peregrine is still not Friends with her boss, and since cooks work on the weekend, that's a problem. There is one chance - since I've lifted Military, I can go to her boss's house with an escort. I can't go inside, but if I can get her outside... worth a shot. I take Cordelia along as the escort. I managed to interrupt the "be invited inside" and catch the boss just outside her door. Didn't quite get to friends before she left for work, but it was close enough to make the difference inviting her over Sunday morning, when after a few more jokes it was locked in.

Rolls for the other three are made as soon as they graduate. Earl rolls 1, which means he's going to have to reroll tomorrow. Jane is in the same predicament as Earl, also rolling 1. Mordecai rolls 3, so he takes Education. Looking at the table, a roll of either 1 or 6 is a miss now, so I decide to try the computer tomorrow instead. On that occasion, Jane scores Journalist, while Earl gets Law Enforcement. I'll take Forensics; that way, if the only spouse I can find for Cordelia is already an adult, we're not necessarily in any trouble.

Incidentally, Cordelia died while working on a dishwasher, but Unlucky does have its plus side as well as the minus side.

I got to level 7 in Culinary before I realised that I could buy the cheapest television now. It required Cordelia to upgrade it, but Cooking Cable is the key - should make things a bit easier, anyway.

It is proving very difficult to satisfy the Reports and Stories metrics for Law Enforcement and Journalist. The problem is that the vast majority of the town are either related to us (can't do a story on a relative, though you can do a report I think) or else elders (and hence non-interactive because I'm doing a prestige occult). It is similarly tricky to build Charisma. I am not complaining, and it is trickling along - I don't think I'll be attempting to do Super Popular with a Mean Spirited Sim any time again soon - poor old Earl has resorted to trying to make friends with pets.

Earl successfully managed to become the go-to guy for forensics reports, and managed to work out from the DNA he had what the common factor was in premature senility. With the help of Uncle Thomas and Granddad's notes he was able to synthesize a cure - at least for us, and I'll consider whether or not it will be profitable enough for general distribution.

Mordecai, on the other hand, has successfully poisoned an entire generation of minds with subliminal textbook messages. His study of charm magic doubtless helped, and it will certainly mean my own children will benefit. So impressed by his work was the government that they have finally decided to construct a high school.

Forensics and Education lifted. That's the good news. The bad news is that Mordecai (despite being gender blind) has still only managed 4/10 for Heartbreaker, and Earl is at a shameful 4/20 for Super Popular. I don't really regret buying them Entrepreneurial Mindset, as it certainly helped them lift, but if I hadn't they'd both have enough LTR points now for Midlife Crisis which would allow me to tailor traits - and Earl badly needs that. Never mind, I'll certainly take the lifts, and now they can concentrate on their LTWs.

While I am now in charge of much of the underworld, annoyingly there appears to be an essentially separate division I have only minimal influence over. I have used the organisation as a front to set up several trade unions; under the guise of establishing superior working conditions we will now find and destroy our enemies, and through sheer corruption force ourselves into whatever careers we desire.

Master Thief lifted. The order here is interesting. Jack had zoomed along to level 5 while Cordelia and Peregrine were still struggling to get to 3, but Jack - unable to do anything but stand on his home lot and Perform for Tips, Deliver Sing-A-Grams, and have a single performance park gig (now regular, but still - only one gig per week) - really slowed down. It is Week 20, Day 4, and Jack is a Superstar, with about 80% of the bar still to fill. Of course 2 of the younger triplets have already lapped the older ones.

We managed, by combining our various networks of informers, to find a fairy named Kasey. He had a partner, but a few planted doctored photographs thanks to Earl took care of that relationship. Just for fun I told him what we'd done once we got married; he was understandably pretty upset, but that was Mordecai's cue to use his particular mind control charms. After a few of those, Kasey was enthusiastically on board to take over the remaining spy network that we didn't yet control.

Kasey came with 3 more books, plus a bunch of other stuff (including a car) that I sold. He is Good, Heavy Sleeper, Longer, Slob, Unflirty. The only significant one there is Slob, which is good. He is in Law Enforcement at Desk Jockey level - good enough, actually, since I need Espionage lifted. His only skill is Logic 1, but he has 19 days until he is an adult. Now just to get rid of the others, but I need to do some LTW lifting first.

The Unseelie Court: Mark

I quit my job when the pigs said I couldn't have any time off for getting married. It doesn't matter - I have already set up enough puppets that I can rule with or without the official title.

Without the ability to strike at me directly, Thomas became the target of my enemies. Some of them wanted him to volunteer for an experimental plant substance - as if such things could possibly work on us anyway. He wisely declined - better to be safe than sorry, and my desire to see Thomas die in cruel and unusual ways was tempered by my desire for him to make a few more technological breakthroughs first.

When I left off last time, the heir had just gotten married and set the next generation in motion. His brother Thomas is a Top Secret Researcher, so Science is getting close.

Mark has no boss or coworkers; he had only 1 good friend, and I decided not to get any more, allowing him to quit. (You aren't intentionally allowed to be late for work or anything, but you can be less than diligent about repairing relationships - it's all in the margins). I want to finish getting his Painting to 10 to secure the LTW (Illustrious Author). Yolanda's LTW is Bottomless Nectar Cellar, which is impossible to lift at the moment, so I don't want to waste Mark's as well.

I became the father to triplets - Jack, Cordelia, and Peregrine. Jack looks like a complete loser - Cordelia, now she has potential. I cannot in good conscious choose Jack as my heir, even if he was born a few minutes earlier. Cordelia it is.

Instant family. Jack is Eccentric, Good; Cordelia is Easily Impressed, Evil; and Peregrine is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed. 3 kids is good; 4 would be better. They immediately Try For Baby again.

After gifting us with a few products of his new mad science, Thomas decided to leave. I'll miss being able to kick him in the head, but I guess we need the room. I did pull a few strings to get his intended housing re-assigned though - he can start out homeless. Just so he remembers who is in charge.

Science lifted. A good complement to Medical and Military; this is going fairly well. I don't have enough for a teleportation bad, but Thomas might as well spot me a Collection Helper before he goes. On the same day, I had four birthdays: the triplets, and Mark.

The fertility magic that Dad had revealed to us was clearly working, since I now had a new set of triplets - Earl, Jane, and Mordecai - to look after. It's just as well the first set are toddlers - I'm not sure I'd ever get any sleep at all otherwise, the little mongrels. I have a strange feeling towards my children. Not hate, or urge to kill - something else. Not sure what to call it. Kind of the opposite of those things. Mustn't let it get me soft ... oh, that's so cute!

There was a disadvantage to Thomas leaving; we are left with a cash flow problem. Fortunately, I am well able to look after the kids, so Yolanda put her name forward. I tried to pull some strings, but the best I could do for her was a coffee courier. It's a start, and I can continue to pull some strings to get her something a little more prestigious. Indeed, one of our main continuing problems are the state factories- while theoretically something I now control, in practice they are run by independent businessmen who think they can buy and sell politicians, even me. So we'll have to beat them at their own game - though I'm certainly going to kill as many as possible, I suspect they will take appropriate precautions.

And another set of triplets. Earl is Artistic, Clumsy; Jane is Artistic, Brave; Mordecai is Easily Impressed, Good. That's right everyone, it's time to play 8 Sims At Once! I would have settled for a single there, but apparently triplets it is.

That frees up Yolanda, so she grabs a job: Business. Not bad, works well with Politics, really need Athletics to complete the set. But Business will certainly do.

Poor old Mark has been run a bit ragged, but now he'll get a bit more of a break. Cordelia is now Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil (very much her father's daughter); Jack is Can't Stand Art, Eccentric, Good; Peregrine is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed, Hydrophobic. Middling to bad traits, but that's the Apocalypse Challenge for you.

The other set are now all toddlers, so lower maintenance. Of course, there are now bigger food pressures; I have a fair bit stashed, but no more two meals a day for anyone (except Yolanda, who can lick as many plates as she likes).

The kids grew up fast, and before I really knew it I was occasionally getting a full night's sleep, because the eldest kids were in school. The downside is that I was hungry a lot more; as much as it's important to keep my strength up, I have to keep the little buggers fed otherwise they're of no use to me.

It seemed like only a couple of days after that the younger triplets were starting school as well. Meanwhile, Yolanda was having trouble at work. She was managing to impress and get promotions - not exactly swiftly, but quickly enough - but she complained about lack of co-workers and bosses. I checked into it; apparently my assassins were being a little overzealous.

The kids are looking a little plump there. Apparently I overfed them; that's not something that is likely to continue.

I've gotten Yolanda to Corporate Drone, but she's yet to go to work and have the same boss on successive days. Of course this is partly because of short lifespans for the humans, but it cannot be entirely explained in such a fashion - and Business, especially, is tricky to clear if you can't keep the same work colleagues. But she has plenty of time.

With 6 children, I now start to see a lot of "Hungry". I am ruthless here; once they become teens they can't get food at school, so the child period is one where I stash extra food.

With my illustrated propaganda leaflets now seriously undermining the mob and police alike - we don't like entities we don't control - we received an anonymous gift. Well, it arrived anonymously, but I recognised Thomas' magitek when I saw it. It was a device that could control the weather. I could call snow for the weekends, and sunshine during the week so that the kids would not have to stay home. Useful - but limited. It couldn't bring back spring, only give us a bit of control over the days of winter. But a start, no doubt.

That's the second LTW for the collection. I use it to get a Climatron Control Unit - in large part because I've never done that before, and I figured why not? It has the power to banish Snow Days, in effect.

It is now Week 15, Day 2, and the first set of triplets are now teens. Cordelia is Bot Fan, Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil, with Athletics 3, Logic 7, Painting 3, Writing 4. Jack is Can't Stand Art, Eccentric, Gatherer, Good, with Athletics 3, Logic 8, Painting 3, Writing 3. Peregrine still hasn't lost her baby fat in the face there (looks a bit like her mother); she is Absent-Minded, Easily Impressed, Hydrophobic, Light Sleeper, with Athletics 3, Logic 7, Painting 3, Writing 3.

With Yolanda now the division manager, I have extra work on my hands to keep 3 precocious teenagers fed and focussed without a working high school to educate them. I think a course of extreme callisthenics will do for a start. But my task is coming to a close; they need much less supervision than before, and I can begin to focus on behind the scenes manipulation to assist Yolanda and pave the way for the kids. In order to draw my enemies away, I'm going to fake my own death, leaving with nothing but the clothes on my back. The kids know the truth, but Yolanda might need to be lied too.

Well, maybe she won't need to be lied to, but I'm going to lie to her anyway. Best to keep in practice.

With the first set now teens there is no real need for Mark anymore, so he gets kicked out of the house. Next time, we'll start the massive aerobics sessions while the younger kids play hopscotch and dominoes.

Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies: Mark

"Hey Dad. There's a very sick patient. Kind of a government cover up and everything - can't go to hospital. Tell you what - you go outside and wait, I'll get in touch with my contacts and have them bring you the patient there."

Subtle, you see. I was getting the hang of it. Before he left, he even cast a health spell over Tom and me - we wouldn't be getting sick anymore. Handy spell that. I guess he wasn't totally useless, but that doesn't make me hate him any less.

With Medical lifted, I purchased Simmunity for both Mark and Thomas, allowing them to eat the rotten food from the basement without my needing to watch and cancel just before they finish it (and incidentally making them immune to colds - otherwise I'd have just gotten Strong Stomach).

You cannot move out the last adult in the house, which entailed a dilemma - I wanted Hassan gone, but couldn't do so non-lethally.

However, with Military lifted, there's no curfew. As soon as the full moon passed, I simply sent him outside to die of hunger. I'd have preferred a community lot, but I haven't lifted Forensics, so he can't be off lot as an elder.

Honestly, anyone that gullible deserves what they get.

Over the next few years, we installed a shower and a dishwasher. Feeling clean is such a luxury, it was absolutely worth killing over.

Despite having a negative relationship, both teens went into mourning over this. But it was entirely tolerable - now that they can shower they get more positive moodlets.

Finally my 18th birthday arrives. After pausing to beat Tom up for skipping school:

"What the hell man? We aren't even allowed to go to school!"

smack!

"I said you're grounded, and you will obey me!"

It's fun to pick on people that don't dare strike back. So much fun that when they offered me a job as a Podium Polisher, I immediately saw the potential. I could rule this place. That certainly was an appealing notion - and absolutely in keeping with our overall plans to stick it to the Great Old One too. Win-win-win.

Mark's final traits are Coward, Easily Impressed, Evil, Mooch, and Shy. Essentially nothing particularly bad or good - at least, with Free Will Off, the way I'm playing. He has the skills Athletic 10, Logic 9, Painting 4, and Writing 10; I give him the LTW of Illustrious Author.

The job he ends up with is in Politics. Not awesome. But it will do; I was going to get him a point of Charisma anyway. It is Week 9, Day 5. Fortunate timing gets graduation out of the way before he has to start work - extremely fortunate, since I was basically figuring "Well, with Thomas only a couple of days away, it will probably delay graduation for Mark, and I can get to friends with the boss before then." I was wrong, but luckily got away with it.

I spent all my spare time at the park, talking to everyone. My goal was simple - fool everyone into loving me, and then stab them all in the back when I take control. Simple, effective, and - unfortunately - actually in everyone's best interests, long term at least. Sure, I intended to flaunt and abuse my power, but I didn't want to get eaten by Nyarlothep any more than anyone else did.

Not bad for just unclogging toilets and fixing computers.

Mark meantime is chatting up everybody.

I don't want to imply nothing bad ever happens to me. Thomas, for example, is now 18, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to justify beating him up. I may have to hold off for a while, or at least figure some way to get an advantage - he's a little bigger than me now.

It wasn't long before I had a two young adult family. Week 10, Day 1, to be precise.

"Right, Tom. Happy birthday. Now, time to get to work. You know all that medical stuff Dad did? Well, your job is to understand it - research, mainly. Get everything working again - we need power, and I don't just mean magic. I mean electricity. I want a new car. Get on it."

"Screw you man." And then my hired thugs beat him unconscious. "OK, OK. What the hell, I'll do it - Mum would have wanted it probably - but you better sleep with one eye open, bro'".

I'm going to have to work out some sort of alarm spell or something.

Thomas is Brave, Couch Potato, Hot-Headed, Insane, and Rebellious. His skills are Athletics 10, Handiness 6, Logic 9, Painting 4, Writing 8. He gets Perfect Mind, Perfect Body as his LTW.

The job is Science. Always a bit tricky - ideally want to do this with better traits - but I don't anticipate any serious problems.

Of course, I get caught with an immediate graduation day, and Mark's boss is dead. Fortunately it's a Monday; a full day of wardialling for both boys (Mark to his only co-worker) gets them both to Friends.

I got promoted rapidly, assisted by lots of friends. So did Tom, actually - little brat knows his botany, for sure, and he's always been handy with mechanical stuff.

Yet another skill challenge for Mark.

On Day 1, Week 11, Mark is a Local Representative and Thomas is a Carnivorous Plant Tender. Neither have missed a promotion yet, though at least Thomas will inevitably start soon.

I became the Vice President. I was close, but I needed more. With a little convincing, and not a little blackmail, I got Tom (a Genetic Resequencer) to make me a clone of the President, but to leave out most of the brain matter. The plan was simple - all I had to do was kill the President, substitute the clone, and let nature take its course - I could feel the power just out of my grasp, but not for long.

Thomas is now into the "fishing" stage, but there won't be any issues in the lift. Mark has missed one promotion - it's tricky to keep up Charisma and keep hunting for a spouse. The spouse hunting is not going well - there are plenty of fairies, but many of them are elders, and a lot are related to the Naturals (you can't marry Nieces or Nephews). I did however find a teenage fairy named Yolanda Fitch-Collins, who will do nicely.

It wasn't enough to just get rid of the president - I had to be the popular choice. I kept doing favours, pulling strings, and pressing palms - the whole town loves me. Even Tom begrudgingly says I might be a necessary evil - and that after he had a "moment of clarity", as he puts it.

Another Charisma challenge achieved. It might take a couple of work days, but I have no doubt about clearing Politics.

Meanwhile, Thomas pulls off the first LTW for the challenge, and shortly thereafter Mark gets another skill challenge.

My biggest fan was a teenager named Yolanda. She comes from good stock, and will make me a fine bride. Tom believes stalking teens is very wrong, but he isn't the one that has to raise a lot of screaming brats, so I'm not overly bothered by his opinion.

The clone screwed up on schedule. Indeed, it went better than I could have hoped - while showing off the "nuclear football" it called down a tactical strike, killing it and all of its underlings - except me, of course, mandated by law not to be in the same area at the same time. A terrified populace unanimously declared me their leader - their saviour.

He's chatting up Yolanda, which is intensely creepy but necessary. In the interim I've grabbed the LTR Fertility Treatment for Mark; I'm trying to get Thomas up enough to buy a Teleportation Pad, but we'll just have to see (I'd rate it "unlikely"; he needs another 25k).

On Week 12, day 2, Mark is a Vice President with Athletics 10, Charisma 8, Cooking 2, Logic 8, Painting 4, Writing 10. Thomas is a Genetic Resequencer with Athletics 10, Cooking 3, Gardening 9, Handiness 7, Logic 10, Painting 4, Writing 8.

My first decree as President was to declare Yolanda to be of age, and then I called her over to our bunker. She hesitantly informed me she already had a partner, but a little persuasion convinced her to trade up.

Politics lifted. And the story is actually true(ish) - on the day he became President, all of his co-workers and boss were gone. What short lives these humans lead. A quick check of Throw Party shows me that Yolanda is now a Young Adult - timing was perfect! Although she already had a partner.

I use the word "had" advisedly.

Yolanda was a petty thug, but she'd managed to steal a functional car. It is of course nowhere near the style in which I usually travel, but it will suffice.

We got started on the next generation immediately. My children will not have the useless father that I had.

Yolanda had three books in her inventory and a car. She is Irresistible, Loves the Heat, Snob, Slob, and Unlucky; her only skill is Handiness 1; she's at level 1 of the Criminal career (and hence cannot return to that after the kids are sorted). Mark has no co-workers or boss, so assuming that situation persists he will be permitted to remain President thanks to his 3 other friends. Should some new Politics people come into existence, so be it, he'll quit. As a side effect, Yolanda joining the household gave Mark the Personable challenge for Charisma.

With kids on the way, Tom knew his days were numbered. But I can probably be persuaded to let him live, and just leave. If he doesn't annoy me.

I didn't get the "rock a bye baby" sound but after 4 consecutive tries I was reasonably sure it had "taken" (remember Mark has Fertility Treatment). Just to be sure, I waited until Yolanda threw up.